Granted I will not make the New Weekly’s page for Beauty Tips this week and sure I will never make Who’s most beautiful list. One thing I will make is Ordinary woman’s least high maintenance list.
See I notice the wrinkles and I despair. And I go and buy an anti-aging product which I productively use for say oh, one whole week. Then I, to be blatantly honest, can’t be bothered anymore.
I look at my feet. They would scare even the little Asian ladies who do the mass pedicures in the shopping centres for a living. I bought a ped-egg. You know the one. The object shaped like an egg, flogged on late night TV and basically grates dead skin off your feet. Oh how we ridiculed this at work. Laughing at the ads on YouTube. But then I tried it and sweet Jesus, I was reborn. I had baby soft heals. I no longer ripped up the sheets when I went to bed each night. My husband wasn’t physically repulsed by my feet on his lap watching TV. But then I get lazy and right now, let’s just say you wouldn’t want to be standing behind me on an escalator and view these suckers up close.
My fingernails, well they just don’t even rate a mention. Sure I could go pay for someone to give me some awesome French tips and I would look like I deserved to rock up to the Versace buffet on any given night, but within 3 days I know I would either chip them, lose them in the potato salad or just be unable to type come work on Monday.
My makeup regime too, leads much to be desired. Sometimes I wear foundation to work. More often than not though I don’t get a chance to apply it in the morning. What between cleaning up the spilt weetbix and finding poo nuggets left on a Hansel and Gretel styled trail down the hallway, it just doesn't get done. Lipstick doesn't last longer than 2 cups of coffee. ie. past 8am. I wear glasses (and no I hardly ever wear contacts) and therefore I don’t wear mascara. Or eye shadow.
Last but not least and most important is my hair. I have hair that can only be described as Ronald McDonald on Crack.
Ok, maybe that’s overboard but my hair is curly, frizzy and if it were orange I could don big red clown shoes and sit on that that park bench in Maccas and kids would gleefully sit on my lap (or try and punch me in the guts depending on said child)
I colour the continuous greys with hair dye from the supermarket. I have had my hair coloured once on a holiday in Melbourne. They charged $280 for some streaks that I couldn’t see. Mad experience sure, but think I got the gist of further treatments to come.
I didn’t grow up with a beauty regime. Perhaps if I did the above admissions would disgust me, however Mum wasn’t a big talker when it came to makeup or perfume or being girly. So sure I could have wigged out and went apeshit on the blush as a teen but I just didn’t get the chance.
So I now think, heading towards 35 it’s time for me to slowly but surely start taking care of myself. Starting with some beauty sleep...
6 comments:
You are beautiful inside and out Bern!!!
Beauty regime doesn't have to be time consuming or laborious. Just a good face wash twice a day to wash away the grime and then massage in some moisturiser. All over and done with in a couple of minutes. The biggest thing is to stay out of the sun or wear loads of sunblock, hat, sunnies etc. A doctor once told me that if we all stayed out of the sun we would have the lovely skin we all have on the inside of our arms.
Your hair is lovely so don't change a thing.
As the old Billy Joel song goes 'Don't go changing to try and please me'. 'I'll take you just the way you are'.
My bug-bears beauty regime-wise are leg-shaving, all over body moisturising and foot exfoliating! I am more than happy to do the facial washing and moisturising, and wear mascara and lip gloss most days - I save the foundation, blush, eyeshadow for special occasions. But I just CANNOT understand how anyone has time for moisturising their whole body and shaving their legs. As for the feet - I probably get a pedicure once a year and that's all the attention they get!!!
Agree with Belle that I will not go out of the house without facial moisturiser with SPF in it on my face and hands, and have heard the comparison of top of arm versus inside of arm before as a reference to what your skin would look like if you had never been in the sun. A friend of mine had melanoma last year, which thankfully seems to have all been captured, and I have not sunbathed or gone out without sunscreen (even in winter) since! I also put sunscreen on my little Munchkin's face most days (being the only exposed skin!) - I think I'm a little paranoid!
Loving your post. Am nodding my head at much of it. For years I've used the 'oh, I have oily skin so I don't need to moisturise' justification. Now? Well, at 36 I'm thinking I probably ought to start. At least once or twice a week, maybe.
Hey Bern,
You are definitely a beautiful person and like you i didn't grow up with a beauty routine handed down from my mum - she has NEVER shaved her legs!!. I have stumbled on a great Olay moisturiser that has spf15 and a hint of colour that suffices most days as a foundation - i shave my legs in the shower when the get embarrassing and just don't go down the bikini line in winter road!
As usual I love your blog and could relate to it all!
Oh I hear you Bern. I just bought some eye cream and have been using it when I remember. Which isn't often, though really, my eyes look the bloody same.
Oh, I hear you. I could have written this post. Did not realise how much I'd let myself go until a recent wedding. All the other mummies were yummy, had been pedicured and manicured to within an inch of their lives, still wore stilettos, had make-up expertly applied and hair done ... I have never had a pedicure or a manicure, get my hair cut twice a year, colour it with supermarket colours occasionally, and wear avon make-up. I'm lucky if I get to brush hair and clean teeth before I dash out of the house in the morning. How ironic that when I was younger, and didn't need to, I never left the house without wearing make-up!
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