I once did a total Nanna thing and wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper here regarding the absolute waste of money and space that are personalised number plates. You know, the $3,000+ plates that say such fabulous things as BMWX5 (Really, really? Didn’t you just spend over $100,000 for a car that has that very thing stated on a badge on the car?) Or SMINE (Yes it’s yours, who the fuck else’s is it?)
The reaction wasn’t all that overwhelming; in fact I only got one response. And it was a karate Sensei. Is that what they are? Karate Master? A pretty radical karate dude anyway. His numberplate is KARATE. His argument was that he increased business because his already very obviously plastered car that had his business name XXXKarate all over the doors, bonnet and boot, generated more business because his $3,000 (coincidentally, depreciable on his income tax) numberplate. Sure dude. What evs. Although due to my lack of self-defence skills, I of course would never say that to his face.
The reaction wasn’t all that overwhelming; in fact I only got one response. And it was a karate Sensei. Is that what they are? Karate Master? A pretty radical karate dude anyway. His numberplate is KARATE. His argument was that he increased business because his already very obviously plastered car that had his business name XXXKarate all over the doors, bonnet and boot, generated more business because his $3,000 (coincidentally, depreciable on his income tax) numberplate. Sure dude. What evs. Although due to my lack of self-defence skills, I of course would never say that to his face.
I live quite close to Sovereign Island. Which if there were a mini-Olympics for the most ridiculous and pompous personalised number plates, it would win hands down.
I dare you to sit at Paradise Point on any given Sunday afternoon, face the street have a coffee and watch the parade of wankers go by. I bet you would see some variant of the following:
DEEVA – Obviously she was never Spelling Bee champion and clearly high maintenance.
I dare you to sit at Paradise Point on any given Sunday afternoon, face the street have a coffee and watch the parade of wankers go by. I bet you would see some variant of the following:
DEEVA – Obviously she was never Spelling Bee champion and clearly high maintenance.
WAZ HIS – He cheated on her. So, she’s taken him for everything, including his shitty Commodore and then got a numberplate more expensive than the actual car is worth, as revenge. Money well spent dipshit.
$110,000 – The amount of money spent on the fake boobs, lips, thighs, hair, eyebrows etc etc, that is ensconced in car displaying said tacky numberplate.
SEXY1 – Really? Let’s hope to god when he/she steps out of that beema, they are freaking hot. If not, foolish is about to get a new image in the dictionary.
IM 2 HOT – Small Penis on board
OWZATT – Warney. Avoid if you are female.
GOODGRL – Doubtful
LMFAO – What exactly are you laughing your fucking arse off at? The fact that you just gave the state gov another three thousand bucks you didn’t have to?
The good news is, BIARTCH, at time of writing is still available. So hop to it Queenslanders.
Get in there and give the government more of your hard earned dollars to show everyone else how truly great you are.
14 comments:
KLAS1K
I hate 'em 2
i HATE the losers that drive around with their FULLY SICK number plates........ they look like idiots... esp the ones that are along the lines of 2sexc and they get out of the car looking vomit worthy.... just eww
Hey Bern,
Loved this - my thoughts exactly - have seen a very flash porsche with the number plate Mr Rat - not sure what that was supposed to mean - still a wanker!
Keep smiling
Wx
I FAIL at finding my car in the uni parking lot. I always have some idea where it is, but there are a couple of other Suberu station wagons on campus that have Red P plates on them, or holders that said plates could go in. It would appear they're also doing arts degrees, so they park in the same carpark as me. I quite often walk over to them, thinking they're mine. The other day, one of them was parked on the other side of the car next to me, and I put my key in the door and tried to turn it before I realised it wasn't mine. It happens cause I'm not actually sure what my number plate is, cause random numbers are not something I'm good at. So I'm thinking when I get my own car, rather than having to share one with dad, I put in a request to get a number plate with my initials or birthday on it. If they're not available, then I get one personalised with some from of my name on it, and then I'll be able to remember what the damn numberplate on the car is.
Hmm... I'm not allowed to drive (apparently rear-ending a bus is a bad thing) can I get personalised plates and just tape them to my shirt.
I don't want to miss out on the 'wanker' factor just because of my lack of vehicle.
Oh that is so funny! I literally cringe at some of the OTT tacky plates I've seen here in WA. I saw one recently - "Porsche" on a (wait for it) PORSCHE! WTF? Arsehat!
You've written very eloquently (and funnily) about one of my own personal peeves. I particularly hate it when they've had to replace letters with numbers to have the plate they want - e.g. "S3XY"
It reminds me too much of punching 2318008 into a calculator so you can turn it upside down to spell "BOOBIES".
Losers.
Cerry, possibly you just need a bright pink Hello Kitty one. That would stand out enough ;)
DNM - Boobies indeed. There is a great sight you can look on. www.prestige-plates.com.au Tops for looking at all the smart ideas some people have.
Miss Keira, you should not miss out just because of a pesky rear-ender. Sure, rig up your new plates(rearender) and get them hooked up a-board style.
Al - fully sick. lmfao hahaha
Blomsters, Hey chicky, hope all's going well. Thanks for the Mr Rat story. Not sure what to make of that one.
H& - That is Klas1k. Holy crap is that one taken?
SparklyT - Knew I missed out on replying to someone. Arsehat. My new favourite adjective. ;)
Nah, I want a purple one. I saw them at the RTA when I was getting my Ps. Tried to tell dad we need one. He said we didn't. I said I'd pay. He still refused.
I accidentally one went off on a rant about people who get their car make/model no. on their numberplate, to a friend whose parents had Saab1 and Saab2 - oops...
Idiot tax.
Here in the States they don't let you have certain plates. Anything they deem having bad, suggestive, or evil language then they don't approve the plate. So we don't have any "sexy" or "LMFAO" here. I'm a little jealous! ;)
I see a ton of name initial plates. Those drive me nuts. Don't you know your own name? I also hate the #1FAN or [insert team name here]FAN. Those are stupid.
Last week my mom and I saw a plate that said, VUKA. We had a really good time with that one. We had vuka you, mother vuka-er, etc. Guess you had to be there for that...
Hey Bern,
You may be suprised to learn that PRAT is still available but WANKER is not allowed... WANKA is not available (diff to not allowed) hmmmm
I love your blog and when i can't sleep cause i am stressing about uni (like now!) i always come here! Keep smiling
Wx
p.s. yes it is 4:27am while i am writing this
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