Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Hands up if you’ve never been stressed. What? All hands firmly down? Oh, wait all except Paris Hiltons’ of course. Being stressed would require her to give a fuck. And let’s be honest, unless it involves someone blocking her access to those braided headbands she wears around her forehead, life isn’t going to get too complicated for that vacuous blond piece of fluff.

The subject of stress led a friend and I to talk about 2009 and to how, quite frankly, a fair bit of it has sucked. She was talking about how my mother being sick, was the most stressful thing and that she ought to stop whinging about her woes.

But stress is stress. It's all relative.

Be it her husband having trouble securing a job as often he is “‘overqualified” and the threat of their 6 person family losing everything, to our other girlfriend who’s business is going through some very tough times , we all go through a period or periods when the big “S” is inevitable.

How you deal with it depends solely on the person.

Like the lovely Miss C I work with.

A little history about Miss C – At age 20, she and her boyfriend who we shall refer to as Cock, were in the process of building a house when he whisked her off to Hamilton Island and proposed. Big fuckoff engagement ring, boozy days drink-driving the golf carts and excessive consumption of champagne induced sunstroke were to be had.

Consequently our workplace doubled as a wedding planning office. We researched venues, we helped choose colours for bridesmaids, the songs were being chosen. It was all systems go.

One weekend on their way to taste wedding cakes, Cock and Miss C had a minor bingle in his new ute with a young woman we shall forever refer to as Mantrapper. Unbeknown est to Miss C, Cock and Mantrapper were swapping more than insurance details if you get my gist.

Right well, so Miss C gets a text (Oh yeah, all class) about a week before Valentines Day, approximately 5 months after he proposed to her, saying “I can’t do this anymore, I want you to move out”. Seemingly from nothing. No fight, no discussion. Nada.

Clearly Miss C was shattered. Having said that, she came to work everyday and although obviously upset, was professional to all the clients and with her work.

Within 3 months Cock was exposed for the cheating toss that he is. He’d been getting it on with Mantrapper, who already had 2 children from a previous relationship, since the week after their minor car accident. Bigger news, she was pregnant again – To Cock.

What about the house they were in the middle of building? The one he was meant to contribute half the repayments into? Well he no longer kept up those payments. Apparently three children and one skanky hoe cost LOTS of money.

So Miss C, not even 21, was working 2 jobs, living at home with her mum all to keep the banks off her arse and ruining her credit rating. All the while, Cock would not agree to selling the house, nor would he help with insurance, rates, repayments and all the other lovely expenses that come along with moving into your own new home. The only way out, for Miss C was to refinance the house so she could pay for it herself. Which she worked out how to do. But then Cock wouldn’t sign the transfer papers. Just this week, he asked to know what Miss C's Super is worth. He wants a slice. 2 years after the fact, he, through no fault of Miss C's, is still in her life and still stressing her the fuck out.

I am by no means a violent person. Lover not a hater, but how this guy hasn’t been bazookered Damir Dokic style is beyond me. Even I want the guy to go down or at least give him a taste of my egging services.

For one person who should be superstressed, Miss C amazes me everyday how having been through such a shitful time in the last couple of years, she can be so unbelievably mature and the fact that she has not lost her bundle, I mean really lost her shit, is a testament to her as a fabulous young lady.

So point is, if there is one, is that I’m learning we can’t just get off the roller coaster when it suits us, but I’m hoping the unseen button pusher is going to ease up just a little, just for a bit. Holy shit, hope it's not Paris Hilton.


cate said...

excellent post, Ms Morley. just when i'm thinking pleurisy sux big donkey dicks you go and put it all in perspective for me. thank you. you have a real knack for this, lady

Luc said...

Can't Miss C threaten the prick with legal action? Or take legal action? I mean, if the @hole's name is on the papers for things then hey, he has an obligation and she should not be letting him slink out of it, nor working herself to the bone like she is.

Eco-Chic-Mummy said...

Oh god! Poor Miss C : (

It's just so apt that the Cock drives a ute.

Actually reminds me that I was followed by a Cock in a ute today, revving his beastly, bright-blue-with-lightening-bolts beast up my bum and then overtaking me in a 40km school zone DURING SCHOOL HOURS when children were all over the pavements. Cock sucker. He then turns into a very affluent residential street and I realised "I bet he still lives with his Mummy", because no late teens early 20's ute-driver could afford a $3m house, could they?!

So Now What? said...

Thx Cate. Don't play down Pleuisy, it's as shitful as any situation.

Luc: Yep Miss C has lawyers onto it. Costing a freaking fortune as his just keeps playing games. Everytime they reach an agreement, he will request something more, more cash settlement, another vaulation etc etc. :)

ECM - Yep def mummys boy. :)

Ness said...

Is this the same Miss C who recently had an incident with some aquatic animals?if so she deserves to be cannonized! I lose my shit when someone parks over the footpath!
Great post & glad to hear she's getting legal help.

So Now What? said...

Ness, actually two Miss C's I know had aquatic incidents. One had a tank explode, ruining all of her floor coverings in the house, the other one is having a hard time keeping them alive through no fault of her own. Shit there's more drama than I realised :)

It ain't so (most of the time) said...

Hi name's not Tony by any chance?

F***wit either way :(

People like that give men a bad name - as for Miss C, congratualtions for not falling into a self-pitying state - whereby nothing is achieved and you would look back in 5-10 years time and say OMG was I so useless, I let that little prick win.

Steven said...

Well, at least she's only 20 and her super is probably small change.

She should get real legal advice and speak to the bank. The 'way out' is probably easier than she thinks - and worst comes to worst, if she walks and ruins her credit rating, she'll be ruining his as well, and with a kid on the way and a new partner and 2 kids, he has substantially more pain ahead of him than her. But what a dick, and credit to her.

Adam said...

Got an address?

shiron said...

Maybe Miss C could give some lessons to a few of the young ladies in this office, who seem to have melt downs when mama hasn't ironed their skirt. I really hope the earth opens up and swallows the dickhead..soon.

Pop and Ice said...

What a role model Miss C is! Not only the heartbreak, embarrassment but near financial ruin! She's handling it all admirably.

KittenFlower said...

Men suck, and I'm currently in the process of training an army of newborn kittens to TAKE THEM ALL THE FUCK DOWN! I mean, in imagination land, anyway. Poor Miss C! She and I should go out for coffee or something...

Aussie-waffler said...

Poor Miss C, that really sucks the big one. You can always let her know that I know a chap who goes by the name of The Grave-Digger, I kid you not ;)

So Now What? said...

Miss C is most happy that people are being so nice and AW, she may be in touch. Kidding Cock, kidding.

Anonymous said...

Hi All Miss C Here
I appreciate all your kind words, don’t worry at times I have thought of all possible methods to take him out but the Karma he will receive and the satisfaction of me sitting on my deck having a wine saying sucked in “you cheating scum bag” will all be worth it!!! You’re all welcome to come when that time approaches because I can tell you now once it’s all over the bubbles will be well and truly flowing….. And yes the 700litre fish tank my housemate had did explode in my house last weekend on the afternoon of my 22nd Birthday Party ruining three bedrooms, skirting board and the kitchen but hey I like sleeping in the Dining room. I just keep telling myself it could be worse…

Cheryl said...

I'm 32 & could not handle a situation like that half as well! I hope her prick of an ex gets exactly what he deserves & Miss C can move on with her life! None if my asshole experiences can top that..

Ps: if she's ever looking for a new job - let me know. Half of our staff break down after breaking a nail, and that's just the blokes!

Girl Clumsy said...

Holy MotherLovin' Crap.

Unbelievable. What an enormous douchebag.

Now I REALLY feel bad for sweating the small stuff.

Miss C, you're all class and dignity. Wish I was more like you.