Thursday, November 19, 2009

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH




So does he rub your back and play with your hair til you fall asleep? In Guy Sebastian world, that means he’s the only one who can Love you like that. He clearly hasn’t been married for 10 years and cleaned up his bodyweight in spew on a particularly bad night with a 3 year old. He needs to change the lyrics to include platitudes about helping find towels, spare bedding and the spray and wipe.

Gotta say but, after 10 years of marriage and 14 years of actual time spent together, getting my husband to rub my back til I fell asleep would require him some sort of mutual pay-off. Just sayin.

So how do you keep the spark alive? Well don’t ask me, I’ve got three kids, a job and a rabid house to control. All I know is that there has to be a lot of give and take. That and the ability to fall in love over and over and over again. And hey, I am no expert in that and can be known to be on absolute mole patrol for no good reason at any given time.

If you’re reading this and you are newly in love, you probably won’t believe this, but it - it being madly infatuated with each other - doesn’t last forever. Unless you’re Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. And they believe in aliens.

So then, seeing as the rate of divorce is horrendous and the rate of separation is an unknown, how do you get the princess treatment forever? Short answer is – you don’t. Not going to happen. But it must be noted, you, the woman, will not be treating your man as a prince either.

Because here’s what happens. The fact that you tell them copious amounts of time the plans for the upcoming weeks and you relay to him the serious nature of the parent-teacher on Friday, he will not be able to commit this to memory. Nor will he hold high in regard, the fact that colours need to be discussed before they are painted onto your walls. And these minor occurrences will start to shit you. Slowly at first. Then it will build and build until there is a monumental blow-up and somehow or another, you turn into Brittany Spears on a head shaving rampage. And then you will be left, three days later, wondering what in the fuck just happened and in despair. Once it was all about mini-breaks and shagging. Now it’s about home insurance and cleaning dogshit off the carpet. How and when did it get to this?

Well from my experience, it’s cyclic. I reckon any couple that is 100% happy 100% of the time is either lying or insane.


Couples go through phases. Ones when you can stand each other and ones when, meh... you give each other the shits. So when the bad outweighs the good, I guess it will be time to reassess. Today though, I still like it like that.

11 comments:

Thea said...

As usual....love it, love it, love it! Couldn't agree more with the cyclical nature of lurve....it's all ups and downs, over and over and over again. Today is an up day for me as I just declared my husband to be the sexiest man alive on my blog...however, catch me on a down day and I'd rather be kicking him to the curb!

PS You do know that is my favourite song and now I won't be able to sleep because it will be on repeat in my head 'til morning!

Jodie Ansted said...

This is so true, Bern.

It should also be noted, to all those readers out there, that in the early stages of a relationship when your other half goes on a trip without you somewhere, you'll drive them to the airport. You'll cry tears of sadness as they walk through the sliding glass doors towards customs, and you'll mope around the house until their return.

Ffwd 10 years on (Hubby and I will have been married 10yrs in Jan, and together 17 by a month later) and when they announce they're going on a trip, you'll calmly say, "Oh. Really? Gee - I'll miss you." And then as they head out the door, you'll jump in the air and give yourself high 5s and start making plans about all the meals you're going to have in their absence (eggs on toast for eg) and what you'll do in the evenings (watch tv - without the channel changing).

Now if you'll excuse me, Hubby is away at the moment, and I'm going to eat another two rows of the Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate that I have so far, consumed all myself. (Half way thru the block.)

emlykd said...

Bern, I can always count on you to tell it like it is.. And I love peeps like that. Telling it like it is, there's no other way to be...

Anonymous said...

Bern, Even though I haven't seen you in ages I just love reading your blog...I can't believe how so much of them relate to my life...maybe its the age thing...growing up in the same area?! I don't know what it is but thank you for making me feel normal...oh and also for the laughs and the tears!!! Thanks Amber

So Now What? said...

Thea - just so I can start for Friday - hey oooh do you like it like that...

Hi Amber - lovely to see you there - thanks for the lovely comment. :) I see your beautiful blond hair driving past BW some arvos after picking up the kids - I'll toot next time.

Emily - Yeah, I embellish sometimes - just a bit hahaha

Jodie - um yes. H was supposed to go to tennis last night, came home when he was stood up. If that had of been me, I would have hit the late night shops and read the paper ALONE at the coffee shop...

Rick M said...

What is love? Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt me. No more.

Love is caring enough about someone to allow them to hurt you, intentionally or not. Not that I would know, I once put my pet grasshopper into the freezer because I thought he was hot.

In my almost ridiculously limited experience of love, it was a horrible thing. It's like ringing Pain up and saying hey, come over for a barbecue. Not nice. Definitely not logical.

Oh God, I need to stop thinking about it. Change the subject!

knitwit said...

Thanks for tellin' it like it is!! If more people realized going in that eventually it'd be pretty crappy--not in a miserable way, just low-grade pathetic crappy--I'm pretty sure the divorce rates would be lower.

Nomie said...

Yup. You just about sum it up! It's good, it's bad, and it's down right ugly... but then, someone who's seen me vomit non stop for 3 days, and still hangs around... well they gotta be worth it! Ah, love... aint it grand!
And Jodie... I hear you on the AHubby away! I don't even drive him to the airport now! Just do a silent 'woo hoo'

Aussie-waffler said...

We're coming up to twelve years of marriage and eighteen years together, which are slightly frightening statistics. All I have to say is...yes, totally.

Aussie-waffler said...

ps. Just asked The Coach what year we were married and he replied "about 1898..too bloody long ago." Ha ha, yes, that's love for you.

swannellc said...

god i love you. you totally rock the word thing. wish i could do that.