Sunday, December 20, 2009


I attempted to shop like a man. I really did. I had a list, I had a purpose and I had a time limit. I tried and I failed.

I am a woman and like any good one, I shop spectacularly. Meaning I browse, I compare prices and I will walk the concourse of the biggest shopping centre in Australia, only to double back if the item I want is $5 cheaper at Point A.

This Christmas is a little different. Usually I am fairly organised. I, by this time of the year, would normally have stashed an amazing amount of presents in the shed, had a food list ready, purchased and refrigerated and be sitting around just waiting for the day to roll around. Wait, no I wouldn’t. I’m crap at that stuff.

I wish I was a person who could say that. “Oh I hit the midyear Target toy sale hard and got everything for an absolute bargain and now just have to perfect my signature Brandy Eggnog Snap Rocket Juice and I’ll be good to go”. But I’m not. Now’s a good time to recognise this goal will never be realised.

So once again, I find myself in the position, 5 days out from Christmas with feck all food in the house, 10% of presents secured and limited time up my sleeve.

When I’m not working, I have three kids with me. One in a perpetual sulk mode, one who will not stop talking about the word manoeuvre and one who is just working on a plan to firebomb the local shopping centre so he never has to return. Needless to say, shopping with kids this close to the big day is outski.

All I can say is thank Jebus for late night shopping. It is my saviour. So if you a spot a curly haired, dishevelled woman, possibly talking to herself and wearing inappropriate shopping shoes wandering around on Christmas Eve, don’t be alarmed, it’s just me.

This time next week, it will all be over for another year. The kids will be as wrecked as the new remote control monster truck on the bedroom floor and we, the parents, will be putting the last dregs of prawns and beer into the wheelie bin.

And then someone will crack a joke about there being 364 days until we have to do it all again. And whilst no one will find this remotely funny, we will all laugh and quietly wish a particularly harsh gastro bug upon that person.

Happy Shopping! Oh and Merry Christmas.


It ain't so (most of the time) said...

10% of the shopping? - LOL - try this house with NONE of the Christmas F*** shopping done and proud of it - hitting dick smiths for a variety of gift vouchers they have in supply from Dymocks to iTUnes to Buy A Goat Gift Cards. Sounds like a really really good - time saving, thoughtful pressie ;)
Stuff Christmas Turkey and all

nikkimoffitt said...

This is the most organised I have been for a Xmas ever! Have ordered most of Xmas dinner online from 'Chef 2 you' awaiting its delivery to my fridge on Xmas eve! Done all shopping for kids and just need a couple of cd's for husband. Think it comes from new country no mates ;-). However - could be a sign I am becoming more organised!?! Don't think so.
ps - you can't beat yourself up about Target mid year sales - because by the end of the year the kids want something new anyway and your smug mid year purchases would be toast ;-)
pps - I also bow down to any mother who works or doesn't and lives in any country where you need to do the bulk of child care and housework and who updates their blog so regularly. Am in awe!

Kathy said...

I'm half and half this year - presents are all *here*, but nothing is *wrapped*; food is planned (in that I know what we're having) but not purchased or God forbid prepared; tree & decorations are up, but house is a nuclear bombsite and I have 17 people here for Christmas Day lunch. So I won;t be joining you at the late night shops, instead I'll be on my hands & knees trying to scrub texta out of the carpet at 11pm on Christmas Eve so my mother and MIL don't do their tandem eyebrow-raise the minute they walk thru the door..

So Now What? said...

Ahh Gift cards, they could be getting a workout :)

Nikki, see that's they way, finding the positives with the no mates thing. This time next year, just like Christmas, you will have tons of mates, you will be having to deny them access into your botox/coffee shop.

Kathy, tandem eye-brow raise, I hear you mate, know it well :)

Belle said...

another brilliant blog Berna!

Jodie Ansted said...

And I'll be right there with you.