Monday, December 7, 2009


Oh, when someone nearly gets killed AT that funeral

Yep, Mum’s funeral was today. And it was lovely. It was sad and devastating and lovely and fitting all at once.

So it went to plan, I did a eulogy which I wasn’t ever 100% sure I would get through and I nearly made it without losing it. Nearly.

Sam sat beside me and pretty much made it impossible for all behind to keep their eyes dry with his sobbing. I thought he might be ok as for days he spoke about “not being able to wait for Grandmas funeral”, but the minute he started to really concentrate on the casket, it was curtains for him.

We had a lovely poem and reflection from Bec that was truly beautiful and heartfelt. A lovely DVD with photos and accompanying song and then it was pretty much over.

Time for refreshments and sandwiches on the alfresco deck area. That’s where things went pear shaped. Within 3 minutes of everyone (over 50 people) on the deck, the outdoor fan fell from the ceiling directly onto a lovely ladies head. Miss C’s mum’s head to be exact. My sister in law was cut on the shoulder and thankfully she wasn’t holding her 1 year old on the other hip. I just keep thinking of how totally devastating that scene could have been.

Now if it had have been someone Mum wasn’t particularly fond of we all could have sworn she’s taken a pot shot, but lovely Sonya had never met mum and therefore, shoddy building practices and unbelievably bad fucking timing was at play.

After that, I spoke to one friend who said this was only his second funeral and the first one he had stood next to a guest who had a heart attack. Tom, it’s time you stopped attending funerals buddy. It was truly awful but thankfully Sonya appeared to be OK.

As is always the way, you see people you haven’t seen in 20 years and lament how much it's terrible that these catch ups are usually always for such a sad occasion.

I guess more emphasis should be put on get-togethers for no particular reason at all. We rush to book flights for funerals which we may or may not be able to particularly afford all to mourn and show our respects for someone we can no longer have a conversation with. We all say it but we never follow through. Let's make it a priority in 2010.

And of course it’s not long before reality kicks back in. After driving home after picking up Jack from kindy (Hurricane Jack did not attend), we turned to see Sam hiding behind Jack’s car seat whilst making Grandma’s funeral picture talk and say to Jack “I am your Grandmother Jack, now drop and give me 20”, Phil and I lost it, but in a good way. And I don’t reckon Mum would want the day to end any other way.

This is a video - press play.

. video

Love you Mum.


Mrs_Starz said...

My thoughts are with you :)
PS. Also glad no one was killed or hurt... eep!

kerri sackville said...

Oh darling. Funerals are awful. What can I say? Glad it's over. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Oh mate....! crying again..Sams a mum it just breaks me up! But Im smiling too!X jack

Tara. said...

Oh bugger hon, trust my computer to go belly up at the WORST time. So sorry to hear about your mum but thank-you so much for sharing her life with us through your video *sob sniffle*. Love to you and your family xoxoxoxox

Eco-Chic-Mummy said...

Bern I'm so honoured you have let us share in this through your blog. I'm in tears after seeing the beautiful tribute in photos. It must be so so tough losing your Mum. I don't know what to say. Except that I'd like to think that your Mum's love for you will live on in your love for your children.


Aneets said...

That video was just lovely- am sure your mum would have loved it.

Thinking of you.

Angela said...

Thanks for sharing the video Bern. The start had me in tears but then I was smiling seeing such treasured moments in your Mum's life. Her joy at having the kids in her life was obvious. And well done at doing the eulogy. I know I could not do it. You are very brave.
Thinking of you xxx

Blomsters said...

Hey Bern,
Yes the video was beautiful - your mum's obvious joy in both her children and grandchildren was lovely to see - thanks for sharing.
Hope you are doing ok - thinking of you.

Erin said...

Praying for you, my friend. I know you mom would have loved the video. Sounds like she even would have had a giggle at the fan-incident (after, of course, learning that everyone was ok). That's the stuff that memories are made of.

emlykd said...

Wow! such a tribute for a woman who was so obviously filled with love for her family! that much is obvious through the joy u can see on her face... ur mum will live on in your heart, and truly it is an honour that u have shared this with us... Thank-u Bern! And well done on getting through the eulogy, u truly are one strong, courageous woman...

Permanently twenty three said...

That's a beautiful video. What a lovely way to say farewell.

Cate Bolt said...

Ya know, for once this week, I didn't cry at something LOL I hesitated to read this cause I'm a bit of a basketcase at the mo, and I didn't want to have a cry. It just made me smile. Smile, smile, smile. I love how many photos you have of her with wee babies and in every photo its the face of a woman madly in love with those kids. What an awesome woman, which truly explains where you got it from.