Wednesday, March 24, 2010


I’ve never watched another females arse quite as intently as I did on Monday night.

Monday was my first ever Zumba class. Zumba, for uninitiated, is the latin dance/aerobics craze that has taken over the world. Well, taken over our office anyway.

Miss B, who works with me decided to give it a go as she has longed to get back into dancing for quite some time. Normal dancing however, requires quite a few lessons before you are let loose on a proper dance floor. With Zumba on the other hand, you just dive on in and have a go.

And dive in we did. Holy hell, it was one solid hour of shaking my bum, hips and fingertips like a lunatic. Best way I can describe it - a cross between dancing like Shakira, Beyonce' and a little bit of locomotion, all rolled into one. Never before, has having a gigantic arse, come in such handy.
The best thing? Everyone looked as unco as me. Well, not everyone, but I wasn’t alone. That’s the best thing about Zumba. You are only one, in at least another 100 other, equally clueless women. Even after a few classes, no one is a master. Not like Step Aerobics, where some chicks are going for it like they are in the running for step-olympics gold.

By the time “All the Single Ladies” came on, we all had it at least half sussed. We were, in no uncertain terms, making it clear, if he liked it, he should have put a ring on it. With our arses.

And how lucrative is this caper for the instructor? Sure they have to be super fit and talented, but just look at these figures. On average, a class of 150 x $10 per class = $1,500. They do 7 of these classes a week. Working basically 7 hours a week for $10,500. Give or take. FAR OUT. Attention Brain surgeons: Drop those scalpels and whip on some lycra pants Sir, you’re in the wrong game.

What also surprised me was the lack of men there. What an absolute untapped, gold mine for guys! Women J-Lo’ing it up, exercise pheromones coursing through their bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it’s like a Zumba Fernwood, but I’m guessing it’s only so long until word gets around town.

Weirdest part is, two days later, not one aching bone in my body. I’m sure it’s on it’s way, just lulling me into a fall sense of security, leading me to believe I can start running marathons and then, bam – knockout.

But, we’ll be back, because everyone who goes, just wants to one day, be as good as the instructor or master the hip swivel. Not going to happen, but it’s the trying that is the fun part.
And the best bit is, you don’t realise you’re exercising, you’re too busy making sure you don't take out the lady beside you with a ill-timed arm shunt or trip over your own feet, that, before you know it, it’s time to wind down to Janet Jackson.

Here's the link to the Zumba class I went to the other night. Good news: The instructor is a registered nurse. Handy.


☆ J ☆ said...

As a single lesbian, the opening line of this blog post is enough to make me want to sprint to a Zumba class! Hahaha!

150 people per class? That is HUGE! I've never heard of a fitness class with that many people in my life.

Seraphim said...

OMG! *scurries off to retrain as a Zumba instructor*

So Now What? said...

Oh J, you should. You'd love it! Come down and do one one night :) I have a spare futon. Not v. comfortable I'm afraid.

Quixotic said...

I have been going to the Palm Beach class for 5 weeks now and am HOOKED!!!! Love it, love it, love it!!! We don't do Single Ladies though, that would be awesome, although I was in the kitchen when Bad Roamnce came on the radio so I gave my 2yr old a little show ;o)

sg1padawan said...

Awesome! That sounds like it'll be fun! :D

Thea said...

Pure gold!

Belle said...

and for all you budding instructors out there I have done some research. You only need to do a 1 day, that's right 1 day workshop to become a qualified Zumba instructor. Of course you have to know the moves and probably have some kind of dance or fitness background. You are then free to go off and start up your own classes and earn the money that Bern mentioned above. No franchise purchase involved.

Here is the link to the instructor training workshops

only $225 Cost Includes

* Cardio Party and Live Class DVD
* 20 Minute Express Workout DVD
* 4 Basic Rhythms Review DVD
* Cardio Party Music CD
* The Zumba Instructor's Manual
* Zumba Certificate of Completion
* Fitness Australia Trainers receive 4 CEU's

Miss C that Bern and I both work with nailed it on the head the other night. It is finally somewhere you can go to get fit with dancing where you don't need a partner and can just go at your own pace without anyone giving you that look.

Love that your hooked Bern, are we on for Thursday night at Paradise Point????

cya in the sweat box.

Marilyn said...

I am sooo doing this!

Linda (Belle's friend) said...

Bahahahah! Belle's been talking about ur blogs for ages... gave me the link and I'm roaring with laughter!

You're good! You're reeeeally good!

In Real Life said...

Zumba sounds like so much fun!

1writergrrl said...

I just knew you'd love it! Like you said, a perfect combo of dancing your arse off w/o the hassle of dress code or pervy dudes. That said, my class here in Vegas has a few guys, but they tend to be the unfortunate partners of other Zumba-ettes. Of course, I got my hubby to go once and bring along his mate, who happens to dance with Thunder from Down Under. Never saw the other girls get quite so into the hip swivel as I did on that day! ;)

Linda T said...

Sounds like fun, I like the idea of not realising you're exercising. Hopefully there'll be a class near me soon.

kbxmas said...

Hot damn, I wanna zumba!

Jewels Diva® said...

I wouldn't mind trying Zumba except I'm too arse lazy to find one close enough to where I live and I don't think there is one.

Sounds great.

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

Sounds like a hoot! I always say the fittest I was (although not the "healthiest") was back in my nightclubbing days when I'd shake my booty for hours on end.

I did this class, back in the 90s, which I can't remember the name of, that was a mixture of aerobics and dancing to House music! So cool and so much fun!

Good on you. I reckon your cardio workout will be amazing!

Kallie said...

I've been hanging out to go try Zumba but there isn't a class here that I've found yet. Sucks to not be in the city sometimes :(

Kylie L said...

F*ck. I left a comment this morning before work when I was all fresh and witty, but it doesn't appear to have posted. Damn that. Or maybe you moderated me? Anyway, I love your arse (post).

"We were, in no uncertain terms, making it clear, if he liked it, he should have put a ring on it. With our arses."
That is GOLD! Talking out of your arse, huh?

Vicki said...

hmmm, me shaking my arse about ... isn't that how tsunamis start?

Saam said...

I went to a lunchtime zumba class today! I've been going for about 9mths & absolutely love it. We even have a few guys in our classes. The evening ones are always packed. It's a lot of fun, & the more booty you have, the more you get to shake it...

Smudgeblurr said...

Hey Bern,
Have been inspired to find a class in the 'swich and found one so look out! will let you know how it goes...

Carly Findlay said...

I have decided to Zumba. Can't do body balance in the cold weather so I'll give Zumba a go on Wednesday. Great to read that it's fun.

Bronnie and family said...

I am a Zumba convert, I love it! I do it at my local Fernwood, so it's girl only but male kids can come. (And female ones. Obviously). So unlike the 80s where everyone tried to outdo each other in lycra and thong-tards. However, my first class was at a normal gym and there were heaps of men there! So maybe Aussie guys are catching on ... there's girls, there's dancing and there's a hot instructor. What's not to like?

Anonymous said...

Many physical conditions, like hypertension or diabetes are known for
causing it too. Maca has been shown to improve semen quality and heighten sex drive.
As the penile muscles are relaxed, the veins that drain out the blood from your organ get blocked.
My webpage - The Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction

Anonymous said...

Search engine marketing Birmingham Creating Your Favorite Luxury Becoming Reality to
possess High Page Rank and Top rated SERP ersus Effects

Visit my web-site - plastic surgery search engine optimization
Also visit my homepage :: cosmetic surgery web marketing