Sunday, April 11, 2010


My ten year old daughter had her eleven year old friend over for the night on the weekend and boy, did I learn A LOT.

Like, the amount these kids know about periods, shaving their legs, boys, Dolly magazines, energy drinks and cyber bullying. That amount is a shiteload.

It was such an eye opener for me. These two, chatted away, totally aware I could hear them, talking about whatever took their fancy. In fact, they got along incredibly well and as far as sleep overs go, it was very easy.

I took them out for grown up coffees/hot chocolates before the movies. On the way to the movies the girls started having a conversation about their mutual love, Justin Bieber. Don’t know who the beebs is? Believe me, that’s a good thing. He’s a recently turned 16 year old singer that sounds a lot like a girl. That doesn’t deter the tweens of the world from being seriously mesmerised by his cute face and razor sharp hairdo. A heads up little girls, he is seriously fucked once if voice breaks. See if he’s so adorable then. Anyhoo, I digress.

The girls started talking about whether he could be their boyfriend or if the SIX YEAR age gap would be too much. When girls this age talk about “boyfriends”, they are actually talking about boys who ask them out, but never actually talk or interact with them until one of them unceremoniously “drops” the other.

So, continuing with the age gap conversation, my daughter pipes up with “Yeah 6 years isn’t too much. Look at Madonna and her boyfriend, there’s like 50 years difference between those two!”

Jess, her friend says “Really, 50 years? That’s like, a lot, Maddie. Who’s her boyfriend”.

Now keep in mind these girls both go to the same Catholic school.

Maddie “OK, maybe it’s only 30, wait, Jesus is 28, she’s like 50, so 30 years? (Note to self, time to work on Maddies maths skillz)

Jess “Jesus?”

Maddie “Yeah, Jesus”

Jess “Jesus? She’s going out with Jesus?”

Maddie simply tells her yes and no clarification is ever made to Jess that Jesus is actually a brazillian 28 year old model Madonna is on with. I would love to be a fly on the wall in their next RE lesson.

Over our hot chocolates and coffees the girls were telling me about Cyber Bullying. (I have only just recently let Maddie have a very limited Facebook page and MSN). Jess went on to tell me that another girl who no longer goes to their school cyber bullied her. I asked her what cyber bullying specifically, was done. Jess: “She sent me an email calling me a, am I allowed to swear to explain it?”

Me: “Sure”

Jess: “She called me a slut. Now, I know what a slut is and I am not one. She was annoyed I hadn’t replied to her last email quick enough. She swore at me more and my mum blocked her straight away”.

Crap, this cyber bullying stuff is dead set ridiculous. But she didn’t seem to be too worried about, in fact they moved on a story about a girl in their grade who drinks Red Bull and stays up until 11pm each night. Yowsa.

They told me what they know about periods. One of them telling me that she’s getting hers this year. Really? I wish I had of known when exactly I would first get mine. Would have saved a fair bit of embarrassment just quietly. Perhaps she’s psychic.

They told me what they know about Dolly magazine (neither allowed to read it just yet) and told me honestly, about the boys they like in their class.

I’m realistic enough to realise that this won’t always be the case. I know it’s only a matter of time before she stops telling me anything and she stops idolising me. I am trying to instil in her though, that I am cool enough I guess, for her to confide in me no matter what the issue.

Until then though, as long as she listens to that Justin kid on her ipod and not the CD player in my car, we can still be great friends.


Melissa @ Suger Coat It said...

A great post and a great insight into the mind of two level headed, mature young girls. I know your daughter may not tell you everything forever but my feeling is she will always know you are there.

Thanks for sharing.

Kallie said...

Apart from the fact that I can't laugh because some of what 10 yr olds know now is so sad, that I can't stand that little baby faced Justin Beiber and that cyber bullying is such a huge issue now... What a hoot :) And you didn't tell them that it's pronounced Hey-soos not Jesus? :) You wanted that RE teacher to get the whole experience didn't you :)

The talking to... that's such a hard one. You don't know what is going to make them stop, one day you're cool, the next you're Hell Mother trying to destroy their lives... I'm dreading that happening here. At the moment J talks to me about everything but I know I'm probably getting close to my "best by" date :(

Lulu said...

Start pointing out how pearls and twinsets look really stupid - same with long skirts etc. How tattoos and piercings are ROOLY COOL....and in 3 years time when she is trying to piss you off, she will be storming out the door looking like a librarian.

Lucy said...

On the one hand this utterly terrifies me, as the Mummy of two girls (currently aged 6 and 3) and on the other hand it is amazing that they are so cool and wise already. Lovely post.

Carly Findlay said...

This is a great post!
Kids are so grown up. They do have a lot to deal with at such a young age.
Cyber bullying is awful. I am glad your daughter and her friend are talking about it.
Justin Bieber wouldn't have been my type age 11. I was into Jack Jones. Long hair and dirty looking. I still have his autographed picture on the back of my toilet door.
As for periods - I'm in your boat. I wish it was so predictable.

Smudgeblurr said...

Hey Bern,
GREAT POST! Some slightly bad news for Maddie re Justin Beiber. My 12 yr old niece told me she loves him and is going to marry him so he will be off the market as soon as she lets him know about his upcoming nuptials. Hope his voice doesn't break before then!

Vicki said...

10 years old? They know more about life than I do. I have no idea who Justin Bieber and the news that Madonna is doing the nasty bump with the son of God came as a bit of a suprise.

Ratz said...

Seriously, I do not understand what girls find in Justin Bieber... but i guess i m just over that age....

and god bless you

Jaime [SWHHW] said...

What a great conversation you had with them both! If only it was always going to be this easy.

So Now What? said...

Thanks for all the great comments. I had a dream someone had fully commented overnight and written me off. Time to back away from the computer Bern.

Lulu, I love the reverse psychology option. Good thinking :)

The Bieber has few fans our age and Carly I think I was into Jack Jones too. Did he do a duet with John Farnham? See I guess our parents might have been shaking their heads at us too. I mean, I was in love with Bros for a while. Eek.

lifeinapinkfibro said...

I loved this. Have boys, not girls, but really, has that much changed since we were kids? Beyond the fact that she's still telling you all this stuff at 10 (I think I gave up 'sharing' at 8). I don't get Justin Bieber, but somebody loves him as he trends constantly on Twitter. And I'm glad they're talking about cyber-bullying. It's when they stop that there's a real problem. Thanks for sharing!

Katrina Chambers said...

Hahaha...oh the joys of being a tween - so grown up but yet such babies! I wondered what the heck is going to happen to Mr Beiber when his voice cracks and pimples are covering his face - not so cute then.

Have a good day!
K x

Draft Queen said...

Thankfully, my 11 year old despises Justin Beiber. Because, ick. Here in my house we've been (needing) wearing bras for 2 years and had the period talk quite a while ago. In fact, not that long ago my little Princess found a condom wrapper and attacked me because I have sex.

Apparently, at 30 years old, I'm too old to be having sex.

Jewels Diva® said...

Yes, Madonna has always dated Jesus, lol.

Justin bloody Beiber, pft, who gives a shit, there was Zac Efron and the Jonas Bros before him, and there'll be someone else after him.He's a 40 year old in a 16 year old body.

Get your daughter Dolly magazine, clearly she alreay seems to know quite a lot, but cripes, Dolly will help heaps.

And as for cyber bullying, good on the mother for blocking the little cow insulting her daughter. I'd do it to. After sending a letter to the girl setting her straight.

Annieb25 said...

You always get me to smile! I think that as long as you are prepared to hear things you might not like - and don't judge or get angry at the time - your children will always talk to you. Some of the things my two boys have talked to me about I'd rather not have heard - however am glad they felt comfortable enough to tell me. But ... sometimes ignorance really is bliss - believe me!

Alex said...

Have a 10 year old and am so grateful she is still into Pokemon and her DS and not the Beiber. Though I was amused to find out that she did have a friend who was a boy and she liked him because he was 'interesting'. Listening in on your kids conversations is hilarious.

Permanently twenty three said...

How is it that Jack Jones had so many lady fans back in the day, all while sporting a monobrow?

Wow Bern. They sound so grown up. It makes me feel slightly freaked out about this parenthood caper.

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

My lord. I had no idea 10yo's knew so much about that stuff!

The Justin Bieber thing took my interest the other day. I kept seeing his name as a trending topic on Twitter. I wondered who he was, looked him up, watched a couple of video clips. Seriously, he might be 16, but he looks and sounds 12! It was weird watching him sing about luuuurve and the like.

He has 12 songs in the top 100 songs on iTunes. Amazing!

Anyway, just sharing that with you.

Great post. Now I'm wondering what the equivalent conversation will be like when my 8yo son hits 10. Right now, like Alex above, it's about Pokemons!

Sharpest Pencil said...

Cool Mum. Brilliant Writer. Lucky daughter.

Cate Bolt said...

LOL I totally love these conversations. My only daughter is only 6 but we get the dinner time convos about who's "going out" with who. Ailish has a boyfriend, two "back ups" and in the spirit of hedging-her-bets, has a girlfriend just in case she decides that's the way to go.
Can't wait for 11.

Ally said...

I feel like we're all blogging about Bieber, ha ha! I'm your newest follower tonight :)

Visit me at

Angela said...

I don't even know what a Justin Beiber is. My daughter is 4 so I'm guessing it won't be an issue.
I was going to say I loved Jack Jones but I loved Jesus Jones. I don't think he's the same Jesus that Madonna is into or The Madonna immaculately conceived. I'm getting confused....
Time for a bex and a lie down.

Kristy said...

I know, it's crazy! I work at a school and the girl stuff that you speak of starts really early - like second grade!

Melody said...

Interesting insight into those minds eh? I've got a lot to deal with in the future, haven't I? Uh-oh.

Farmers Wife said...

Ah yes, the 9 year old has mentioned him.

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