Saturday, July 17, 2010

C'MON BABY LIGHT MY FIRE


I feel like the world is conspiring against me at the moment.  I cannot, for the life of me, get the time to sit down and write a blog.


Is this the Universe's way of telling me to STFU?  Well I will not be silenced Universe, not even when you throw fire balls at me.


For the last 4 nights, I have been up until 12pm each night bookkeeping for a friend who owns a Specsavers.  Believe me, the irony that my eyes are getting shitter because I am staring at tiny numbers on a computer screen, doing books for an optometrist, is not at all lost on me.


And when I began doing her books,  her business was only starting up, the hours of my input minimal and I didn't blog.


Now, four years later, her business is a national chain, it takes about 15 hours to input and I enjoy writing WAAAAYY more.  That said, suck it up Bern and think about the unpaid bills folder. 


So, the fireballs you ask.  Slight exaggeration, but it does sound exciting no?


Well funny story.  Not funny ha ha, but funny, in a "that is truly shithouse" kind of way.


Maddison had her first "boy" party today.  The ratio in fact was 10 boys to 2 girls.  Scary odds at any age. Luckily it was all very innocent and at a bowling alley with his parents in attendance.  Maddie's best friends Mum offered to take her her home with them after it finished, so I didn't have to rush back, with the option to pick her up anytime tonight.  No problem.  What could go wrong.  Fireballs. That's what could go wrong.



I set off to get her and driving up the hill to their house I was thinking, Jesus, the fog is thick up here. (I truly am a brain surgeon)  As I drove over the top of the peak I saw the flashing lights of multiple emergency vehicles.  And my gut just dropped.  I don't know why, but my immediate thought was, holy shit, there's a siege.  Hmmm, perhaps I'm watching a little too much police based TV. 


Then I noticed the flames. Even then I only stopped the car because the firetruck had blocked the road.  I parked and walked up the hill to Maddies friends house, 5 letterboxes away.  They were oblivious to what was happening down the road,  but the drama proved too enticing and they all walked back down to the action.  



Oh did I mention I had bought Jack, the three year old with me for the drive.  No?  Because of course in my grand plan of picking up Mad, I also thought he may drop off to sleep on the drive.  


Anyway, all 4 kids became virtual CSI experts on the spot.  "Oh, it would have been laser light spinner they have on the wall.  If heat hits it, it explodes"  said one.    "No, I think it was the TV, the new ones just blow up for no good reason".  Really.



All I knew was that the house was on-fucking-fire.  Big time.  I've never seen fire that close, well apart from like a camp fire.  The difference being, you could roast the whole pascall factory on this one.  Embers were flying everywhere, explosions were going off and you know where 100 on-lookers were standing?  Right in front of it all.  Like virtual moths to a flame.  Except instead of moths, we were all just dim-witted sticky beaks. 



Luckily no one was home.  The dog was rescued and at this stage, the same kid who reckons there was dodgy laser light spinner on the wall (I call bullshit on that btw) also reckoned there was a kitten in there as well.  I hope not. 



So even though it was lovely standing around listening to the majority of neighbours chewing on  conspiracy theories about insurance jobs (the house was for sale), I just wanted to get the hell home.  Unfortunately, in very stern words though, I was told by one very hot looking fireman (is it a prerequisite that you must be better looking than George Clooney to get a job as a Fireman?) that my car was a no go zone.  So we just had to wait it out.



So, long story very long, we got home, just 3 hours later than I had first planned.  George Clooney Number 2 snuck us through the makeshift operation centre and waved us off.  Jack, fell asleep and Maddie analysed every single moment of the night, over and over and over again.



So Universe, we do have another party to go to tomorrow and would appreciate if you could redirect any natural disasters or apocalyptic style events for at least one day.  Right now though I smell like a pack of Winnie Blues, so am off to have a shower. 

30 comments:

twirlingbetty said...

That's a full-on night you've had yourself. I must admit I thought that when you said the fireman was hot you meant as in he had just emerged from the flaming inferno and was feeling a little warm under the flame-proof suit. I'm happy for you, though, that a warm-ish George Clooney look-alike, guided you to your car. And that all was okay with your babies. And, indeed, everyone. Except maybe that kitten.

Sharpest Pencil said...

God I hope the universe never silences you, not just because I am dying to hear Maddie's analysis of the 10 boys to 2 girls party. Or did the fire take the heat out of the party?

Alison @ melbourne mumma said...

God what a night! Lucky it happened a few doors down and no one was hurt. At least you got yummy fireman to perve on, a small bonus. Wishing you luck in carving out a bit of blogging time next week x

Wanderlust said...

How exciting, we both got caught in natural disasters last night. But mine didn't involve any hot men, dammit.

Girl Clumsy said...

I just have to certain it certainly doesn't seem like you're not blogging as often. You must be one of the most prolific bloggers I know!

anjwritesabout said...

I am so glad you got a moment away from accounting to write a blog post! I love your work...and writing about hot firemen always helps. ;) Good luck dodging those fireballs, girl.

livinglifeasme said...

I saw tweets last night about a fire but was too tired to scroll back (was asleep by 10.15 pm last night - never.happens.ever). Wow that is very exciting for your children - Sam was probably not happy he missed out! The only good thing about a fire is the firemen. They are "smoking hot" almost always. *note that I am not saying fires are good, they are dangerous and lives can be lost. But Firemen ... they are good.

Let's hope today's party pick up is slightly less exciting for you. And, never ever stop blogging. My life would take a turn for the worse. I absolutely love reading your blogs. Love. Love. Love. them.

Suz said...

Saw the fire on the news this morning....in Melbourne. Glad you are all ok, albeit slightly inconvenienced in travel plans! May today be a lovely day xx

So Now What? said...

Thanks guys. At times I think I'm a shit magnet, but then realise it's just life :)

Wombat Central said...

Nothing like a little firefighter eye candy to lighten the mood, eh?

I also hope you continue to find time to blog. :)

Smudgeblurr said...

Hey Bern,
I second the comments that hope you never stop blogging - your blog lightens my day every time I read it - no matter what the topic! Check out "Dirty Jobs" on either Discovery Channel on Foxtel or ABC2 weeknights at 6:30 if you ever need some more eye candy... 'nuf said!

Bronnie Marquardt said...

Ahh, your blog reads like a page out of my own crazy life. Hot men in firefighting/police uniforms and/or hot doctors are the only consolation ...

astrogirl529 said...

My next door neighbors house caught fire and If I hadn't of been home to notice it would have been no more. I was running round like a Sim when their house is on fire, not knowing whether to check if they were home or call the fire brigade. I called 000 first and then ran up the street. Strange how we feel compelled to watch.

Mrs Woog said...

As long as Jack got a sleep!

Thea said...

Holy freakin' Moley! The lengths you go to for a blog post! ;)

I reckon there's a panel of women picking the firey recruits, what do you reckon?? Tehe

Maxabella said...

OMG, too fab. I love an exciting house fire. Provided it's not my house and that no one was hurt and they had great insurance cover and... oh, okay, I don't really like them. But, still, if it's going to happen anyway, you may as well be there to watch the MF burn, right?

Kristy said...

That was funny! I would have been so annoyed, three hours?! Ugh!

life in a pink fibro said...

How could you not watch? It's a primitive thing - big fire, must stop. Particularly with a three-year-old boy in tow. But I can't help but think of the misery involved too. Glad you all got home safely -and into a shower.

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

When I was 7, there was a big fire in a house that was adjacent to the caravan park my parents and I were staying in. I think, unfortunately, some people died in that one from memory. My mum was freaking out when I eventually found her, because she couldn't find me (I was teaching some other kids how to play poker in their tent - true story) and was convinced I might have headed in to the house.

Anyway, it's a sight I'll never forget, that big fire.

Mrs Woog said...

Been too long coming, but am following u and have linked you.... coz you r supa cewl.xo

Ali {Mummahh} said...

Shit busy girl how do you find the time to tweet/blog?!

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

Wow. Now that is a good reason to not have time to blog.

I love the pic of the dog. PERFECT.

And yes. I am feeling both of your pain. Not enough time.

Cate P said...

I hope you get free specs from your friend as well. And that you avoid fireballs this week.
Though they do make good blog fodder...

Diminishing Lucy said...

How did I miss this one from last year?!

I suspect it will take more than this to silence you Bern - the universe best let you just carry on blogging...

xx

Hear Mum Roar said...

Oh dear, lol! At the school my daughter used to go to, once a year they would hold an ambulance demonstration for the kids. No notes were ever sent home about it.

In kindergarten, I rocked up to school to pickup my daughter, and I saw this ambulance in the middle of the quadrangle, and my heart nearly fell out of my arse!

In the years to come, I took sick pleasure in watching the new mums see this every year, and watching the hearts fall out of their butts. I'm sure the teachers did it as a perverse joke on all parents, especially those new to that school. Glad everything was alright

The Reason You Come said...

When you mentioned fireballs, I thought it was a metaphor. I didn't realize there were actual fireballs in this story. It's good that nobody was harmed.

But yeah, firemen are hot! Here from Weekend Rewind. :)

todd carr said...

George Clooney, Hot firemen & Fire Balls. whoa honey. I want to see the movie version of this.

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

LOL - talk about an action thriller! I'm glad you're still managing to find the time to blog, despite the fading eyesight.

Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro!

A Farmer's Wife said...

Firemen. Sigh.

George Clooney. Sigh.

Maxabella said...

Read the whole post again from start to finish, Bern. It's rare for me to re-read, but you're that kinda writer! x