Sunday, August 29, 2010
ROUND ROUND ROUND, GIVE A LOW LOW LOW
In an average week, I spend about 14 hours, in total, in my car. During that time, I eat, I apply lipstick, I lecture, I fetch Ninja turtles wedged in between cup holders and passenger seats, I sign off on late homework and I run the guantlet and drink about 7 coffees from open top coffee mugs, because, for about the hundredth time this year, I have left my travel mug to fester one day too many in the hot sun.
Also in that 14 hours, I listen to music. And here's where the inspiration for this blog post is borne. Songs that shit me.
I love music. It started early and it started with Wham. George Michael flouncing around on a catwalk urging me to wake him up before I go go. I mean how could this coiffed, lady lurvin man possibly be gay? Ahh the naivety of youth. I digress.
Back to "those" songs.
Example Number 1- Sexy Bitch. I can't work out if I dislike this so much because the singer is trying to find words to describe a woman he fancies, and the best he can come up with is "She's nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore" or because I've found myself and my children sitting at traffic lights singing "damn you're a sexy bitch" in unison and harmony. It's a total toss up but I think David Guetta should just rename the song "Backhanded Compliment" and be done with it.
Look at Ke$ha and her song Tik Tok (don't even get me started about the dollar sign in her name). She starts out by telling us she's woken up in the morning feeling like P Diddy. What? She wakes up in constant identity crisis and as an African American? And what's with brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack? As in Jack Daniels. As in Whisky. Geez you mean I've been getting it wrong all these years with my Colgate and floss? Oh and can some one please explain to me why the only guy she wouldn't kick to the curb is the one who looks like Mick Jagger? Is it the lips?
My latest gripe is with Eminem. To be honest, I've never been a massive fan, but his current song where he's paired up with Rhianna to record a song about domestic violence, Love the Way you Lie, I kinda like. All except the lyrics "Now you get to watch her leave, Out the window, Guess that's why they call it window pane". No Eminem, it's called a window pane because it's a pane of glass. Pane and Pain are homophones. I know this because I Googled it. You should try it dude, it's just a short mouse click away. Also, just a heads up, pain is something you inflict on someone when they make up stupid song lyrics.
OK, clearly I've thought this through a little too much and need to focus on more important issues like our lack of government or the fact that my house still doesn't have walls I can hang stuff on, but sometimes it's the little things that does your head in the most.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an Enrique Iglesias song to listen to and children to shush so I don't miss the best bits. Oh the Shame.
What song does your head in?