We are renovating. You know that.
What you don’t know is that we have progressed a little. See, Phil, my lovely, wonderful and sometimes undervalued husband (read about that here) has had a bit of a slack new financial year.
Plumbing, construction in general is facing a bit of tough time. Two years ago, he had more work than he could poke a plunger at (do you like what I did there?), but right now, not so much. Anyhoo, as such, he’s had a few days to work exclusively on our own home and I am pleased to tell you – we no longer have an asbestos fence. I know right! One more deadly poison taken out of the equation. What a win for our children’s health.
Now, up until roughly three weeks ago, I was working from the dining room table. Did I mention our dining room would be more appropriate in a Barbie Townhouse? All too often, I found chick peas in my notebooks and chicken korma jammed in the printer. The situation was less than ideal.
But, then, one bright day in August, we got a new bathroom and laundry, which made way for a study nook where the old laundry used to be. And by jingo, lookey here, I have found my happy place. It’s nothing more than a long bench and a chair, but it’s mine and I am no longer a nomad in my own home.
|Study Nook & Jack using his best table manners.|
All we have left to do now is:
Patch Internal WallsUnfortunately our walls are about 50 years old and cracked to the shit. Before we moved in, every single one of them was wallpapered. And not in a good way. So eager to start, I ripped it off every single wall. Three years later, it’s like time stood still. I haven’t hung a photo in my house in over 3 years. I realise this is a total first world problem, but it saddens me none-the-less.
|Jack showing you the crap walls. Doing his best Captain Hook Impression.|
Paint Internal Walls
Remember, about ten years ago, it was all the rage to internally paint your house in bright blues and yellows? The beach theme I think it was. Well we got right into that shitful trend. In fact, we went one better and used blue and yellow SUEDE effects paint. Pretty much impossible to paint over that bad boy. Looking back, it would have been like living in a freaking day care centre. So, from that we’ve learnt, less is more. Neutral is my new buzz word.
Right now, we have a culmination of three different, 1970 inspired slippery as all fuck, patterned brown tiles leading onto concrete in our back yard. Further to this, as we have just ripped out a concrete garden/jungle, we have a lot of dirt. Whilst the two boys just love getting into this each afternoon and ending up as mud men, we intend to put a timber deck out and create an urban oasis. Or at least stop the kids splitting their heads open each time they run out the back door.
|Don't let the cute kid and dog distract you, killer slippery tiles alert.|
A new kitchen.
You know what, I seriously think Phil and I sat down and smoked a big crack pipe the day we bought this house. It is the only reason I can feasibly come up with as to why we didn’t see how useless this kitchen would be for a family of 5. Or a family of 1 for that matter.
Not only is it tiny, there is zero bench space. Further to this, there is hardly any cupboard space and more often than not, someone cops an elbow to the face if they attempt to enter when it is being utilised. I know I exaggerate and I wish this time, I was. It’s also starting to fall apart. Something needs to be done before we try to sell it. Either that or we will have to force-feed people joints at the door when they rock up for an Open for Inspection.
|The kitchen is even sending Sam bananas.|
A new driveway.
Bit of concrete. I have nothing funny to insert here. It genuinely is, just fancier concrete than the revolting stuff that is out there now.
Right, all that needs to be done now is a) work to make money to pay for the above, b) find time in between working at our normal jobs, to finish it and c) agree with each other on the details. Guess which bit is going to be the toughest?
And then, after all that, you know what we will do? The same thing we’ve done every other time we’ve renovated the bejesus out of a house. Sell it. And move on. Will we renovate again? To this extent? Ooooh, let me think, did I enjoy living with mould, asbestos, lead paint and one toilet to share between five? Let’s just say, I’d rather paper cut my own eyeballs with a ream of Reflex than attempt this again, so that’s a no.