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Today, my daughter was telling me how her best friend "had" to break up with her boyfriend. She dumped him and apparently, he was shattered. In fact, she attempted to break it to him a few times last week, but he kept breaking down and crying. And, after speaking to Maddie this afternoon, the boy reckons that this girl “ruined his life”. Furthermore, he said he would have married her given half a chance. Did I mention my daughter is ten?
Sadly it doesn’t appear to get any easier.
Take Miss C. She is my workmate. You can read about how she got royally screwed by her ex-fiance’ here. She’s only just now, ready to put herself out there, on the market so to speak. She’s the ripe old age of 22 and ready to find her “someone”. And with a fair bit of clubbing experience under her overpriced belt, she knows more than likely, a nightclub will not be the place to find him.
Here’s where I admit that Phil and I essentially met in a nightclub. Well, we were “aware” of each other prior to that night but the copious amount of alcohol and pulsating music clearly helped us to get closer, so to speak. In fact, we have rarely spent a night apart since and that was over 15 years ago.
Ahh, what a love story. Pissed boy meets equally pissed girl. They give it up after only one night, awkwardly meet each other properly the next day, still like what they see, repeat first night until married or pregnant or in our case, both.
Now I don’t suggest this scenario to singles out there. Clearly in this day and age, with all the "substances" available, you can't really tell if someone is really into you or if the potted plant in the corner would suffice.
Back to Miss C. Recently she has succumbed to Internet dating. I say succumbed, because she was adamant this would never be her chosen path. Luckily for her, she has friends who don't listen to her and put her up as eye candy anyhoo. And vicariously, I have been cyber dating right along with her.
Daily we sit and weed through the men that have offered to be her “friend”. She will call me over to look at the latest guy requesting her friendship and asks me if I think he is “cute”. Now I must say, her idea of good looking and mine are completely different. For a start, head to toe tattoos and ridiculously large forearms aren't "my thing", so we often agree to disagree on the candidate. Yet still, we go through the motions with each and every guy.
Here’s the thing though. Regardless of who they are, every single guy seems to think it’s a given he will show off his bare stomach. That and the gratuitous nearly naked shot in the mirror with blinding flash seems to be the standard approach. Heads up guys, your attempt at bedroom eyes just makes you look like a total weirdo. Oh, and it’s pretty likely a 22 year old girl who’s requested applicants be no older than 30 does not translate to no older than 51.
In common, all the guys vying for her attention have a heap of shots of them in action, partying and living large with their top gun sunnies on. Guys, less is more. Oh, and if I am forced to read one more profile that states how he will treat his lovely lady like a princess and sprinkle her in fairy dust and golden farts, I will personally vomit. Guys, just be you. She’s going to find out soon enough, just cut the shit.
As such, she has denied access to 9 out of every 10 who approach. She keeps the ones who seem normal, are half decent, have a job and who aren't displaying their penis'. Yes, 9 out of ten don't make the cut based on these pre-requisites.
So far, Miss C has been on one actual date. She met up with a guy who was a little bit older than her, once married, now divorced, tattooed, self employed, fairly stable, dog loving and of large arm. She described him as nice. Too nice. Plus he made the cardinal sin of talking about his ex. Non-stop. Whilst I, and her friends and family tried to convince her "too nice" isn't such a bad thing, she will not have a bar of it.
So the search continues.
The thing is, I don’t think any of us really mature much past the ten year old heart break stage. Some will admit to being the ones that did the heartbreaking, some will always be, the heartbroken. The thing we can all agree on, is that we all want to be part of love.
I suggest you put yourself out there Miss C. Go out with that one guy you normally never would. Either that or get shitfaced at Cocktails and Dreams.