So by now, it's pretty obvious that 75% of Queensland is basically screwed. Well at least for the time being. The flood affected areas are many. Too many. My heart breaks daily as I watch the constant streaming flood coverage. Not the ones about people losing their houses so much, which, don't get me wrong, is awful, but more so, the loss of human life. Particularly those of children. This I can’t bring myself to fathom. A four year old boy being ripped from his mothers arms? Nope. Can’t bear it. I have one of those and I know I joke that he is a veritable hurricane on legs, but bugger me if I could EVER live without him.
So, so. There is rolling coverage on most channels. For mine, I have barely looked away. Be it on TV or the internet, I have gasped, cried and generally watched in awe as our Premier, our Emergency Services and Rescue teams, have rescued and looked after Queensland. You are all bloody amazing. We on the sidelines have nothing but love and respect for you all.
I figured there has been enough sadness, so I have a little bit of a "What the Fuck?" for you all. Hopefully it will give you a giggle.
When Mum was alive, we would always rock up to her house and there would be some random gadget she had bought from some equally random mail order brochure. One that you and I do not seem to receive in our mailbox. The one that stands out was the plug in bug repeller that was anything the fuck but. Hello mozzie bite central.
So when the other day, whilst housesitting our friends house, the brochure from HERE got delivered, it stirred up fond memories. Ones of Mum. And ones of, well, simply WTF?
|Personal Massager, soothes aches and pains. Yah Right.|
Are you going to tell Grandma or am I? Deep Satisfying Massage? Soothes aching muscles? Yeah, in your vagina maybe. Are they seriously trying to convince poor, unsuspecting old ladies that this isn't a dildo? Perhaps the oldies convince themselves it's a claytons dildo. The dildo you have when you don't actually have a dildo.
There was much talk on the Mamamia website about a paisley Poo Catcher. Go here to read about it. Well, we can’t all go to holiday destinations and lose our minds, but we can go to Brightlife and get ourselves one of these babies!
Brand new (awesome, pesky second hand paisley Kaftans are not my bag) fashionable (Hmmmm) paisley print. Figure flattering. Really? Two words - Demis Roussos.
The Bug Cap
This is something I can totally see my mother LOVING!! It’s a hat, but in a situation say, where she gets attacked by a 1000 angry bees, she can just whip down the clipped backed net and voila, protection. Oh Yes.
I'll let you take in the above. Then I'll ask you, who does not want this sitting at their workstation? It’s a toilet. It’s a clock. It can hold your business cards. If only you could actually shit in it, life would be complete.
I hope you’ve had a laugh. I hope you’ve smiled. Because the last couple of weeks have been complete shit for a hell of a lot of people. It will pass. Things will get better, but until then, just keep swimming. x