Monday, June 20, 2011


We've all run through the hypothetical situation right?  The winning the lottery scenario?  Telling your boss to jam it (not mine of course, Hi Nadia *waves*) paying off the house, buying a bigger one, purchasing a yacht, leaving town and never coming back. Doing whatever the hell it is you can’t do right now because you have to WORK.  To you know, live and stuff. 

Assuming my heart wouldn’t stop when the lotto official rang me up and advised me of my multimillion dollar windfall, actually, wait, as an aside, is that not the coolest job in the world?  The ringer-upper person?  “Hi, it’s Joyce from Gold Lotto, I’ve got some top news. You’re now a freaking multi-goddamn-MILLIONAIRE!!!

I digress...

Back to me receiving the phone call and being informed that I am now 10 million dollars richer.  Again, let’s assume I would take this all in my stride and would not pass out in the middle of the Woollies bakery section (where I generally am at any given time), and simply thank Joyce and make some arrangements to pick up my cheque, well straightafuckingway, then I guess I’d call Phil right?  Yes of course I would. I’d tell him to down tools and get the hell out of the ditch he was digging, and to oh, tell his boss he’s a righteous prick and that he'll see him in Hell.  Or maybe not.  Just an idea.    

Here’s where my thoughts get muddled. 

Because it’s always been my desire, should I win the lottery, to pay out my very close friends and direct families, mortgages.  But on the sly.  You know, go into the bank, ask how much they owe and BAM, pay it out. When Mum was alive it was my first port of call to buy her any house she so desired.  One night Phil and I sat down though and ran through this hypothetical.  He was like “Um, do you really think we’d have enough to pay everyone’s mortgage out?  Maybe we should like just give them $100K each.”  So this is where it started to go all pear shaped. 

We went through the process of friends thinking we were too selfish, too generous, too up ourselves and/or just too different now had that we "had money".  We even had a mini argument over it.  Who needed it more?  How much would we need to live comfortably.  Really?  We were fighting over a situation we would more than likely never find ourselves in anyway?  Crazy talk. 

I can see how having too much money could be just as problematic as not having enough.   I guess if we were smart, we’d just keep 10% out, chuck the rest in the bank and go study something we were really interested in.  More than likely though, we’d probably end up like that dude in the UK who bought a massive parcel of land, bought dirt bikes and wasted all the rest on hookers and blow. 

What would you do if you won the lottery?  Already got it planned?  Or perhaps like me, a good place to start would be to actually buy a ticket.

Side Note: It’s my birthday today (on the 21st) and Phil surprised me by organising 2 of my best friends, their husbands, my brother and his gorgeous partner meeting us at a restaurant on the weekend.  I reckon I might have already won the lotto. Love you Guys x

Myself and Bonnie

Myself and Phil

Jodi, Jeremy and a photobombing Bon

My brother Les and Rozy


Green Mama said...

My husband had a lotto cheque in the mail today- $14.50. That just put me in such a lovely mood, topped off by an anonymous commentor who called me a breastfeeding zealot... I'd want to scrooge mcduck dive into a swimming pool full of $$$, and beyond that I can't think straight, but I'm sure there's first class travel involved, with my cherubs on a different flight...

Maxabella said...

I spend a ridiculous among of time pondering my lottery win (possibly even more time than you spend in the bakery aisle). It all comes down to that mortgage, doesn't it?! x

Ms Curious @ CCM said...

I have the lottery scenario all planned out:

1. Selfish, but a nice house for the fam
2. Apartments for my in-laws
3. Cash gifts to some of my relatives
4. All expenses-paid holiday with my parents, sister and her family, and brother
5. Donate to worthy charities
6. OK a few trinkets for myself too, and maybe a new car for Mr C
The rest can be invested somewhere, with a fair chunk in a good ole bank account. I don't care it's not sexy, I want my money to be safe!

I will not tell friends. And will not tell extended family about the amount I won. Unfortunately sometimes money brings out the worst in people.

Happy birthday for tomorrow! Another year wiser aye? :-D

So Now What? said...

Wow, you've really thought this through. I think it's 20 mil tomorrow in Oz Lotto girls. Maybe we should all get one. Or keep our $9.80 and save ourselves the heartache. xx

Diminishing Lucy said...

When I swim (which is the most goddamn fucking boring exercise ever - ideal for lotto fantasies...) I do the list. My lotto win is always $21 million by the way. The list of people I would give $500k to. for their mortgage.

And then the list of people I would employ - I want to live like the Granthams at Downton Abbey.

Seriously. I want a housekeeper...


Mum on the Run said...

I love how much time we spend in this hypothetical splurging fantasy state.
I love that we can argue about hypothetical surplus cash dilemmas - like our cash deficits aren't enough to incite WW3/passionate discussion.
I love when Hubby points out that we never play Lotto - so will never be in such a quandry(not his vocab)!
Your plans sound fab.
I also love a good surprise shin dig. Happy birthday.

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle said...

In my factory days (oh yes, there were factory days) my lotto dreams were a daily event. Now, I rarely think about it, but when I do it's usually when I'm on a plane envying those sitting up the front. I'd definitely give it to my family, particularly my sister and they'd be a party, a really big one!

Jodi @ The Scribble Den said...

Happy birthday!

I have it all planned out.
- pay off the debts, mortgages, credit card etc
- buy my Dad a house
- Add to kids term deposits
- pay off my SIL mortgage (she deserves it)
- take family to Europe for 6 months
- Build our next home on the block we own and have been waiting to build on for what seems like an eternity (okay, only 6 months)
- Go on a shopping spree with a stylist
- Buy a new car
- Put the rest away in the bank and live off the interest.

I would have more time to write, hire a housekeeper of course and hubby would be able to give up tiling and renovate houses as he loves to do.

I'm not greedy, would be happy with 2mil :)

But I rarely buy a ticket - go figure??

Kylie said...

Boring- travel and then write. I like my psych job, but I hate having to be anywhere by 9, I despise departmental meetings and I ABHOR continuing professional development. I already feel developed. So yes, give it all up and jsut enjoy my real passion. After I spent six months lying on beaches in Fiji, Blai, the Carribean and Broome.

Happy birthday gorgeous! xxx

Claudia said...

Happy birthday gorgeous Bern! xx

I've done the lotto winning plan in my mind so many times and have it worked out to the last cent (in my mind I win $10 million, not sure why) you know the silliest thing though? I've never bought a lotto ticket! I think I'm going to win through lotto osmosis...

Sal said...

Haven't had lotto daydreams for a long time, which is strange as I am a total procrastinator most of the time. Might have given them up when realising that you have to be in it to win it.....
Happy birthday Bern.

no-one said...

There's the problem with winning the lotto, people all want a little bit 'because you have so much now', forgetting that if you give to everyone, you'll have none left for anything.

I'd probably keep it a secret from most people, but I'd buy and renovate my house, buy my mother a place, and put a bit in a trust for my niece and nephew.
Then I'd go to Canada for a holiday.

MultipleMum said...

Happy Birthday millionaire x said...

Happy birthday, beautiful!! I have only thought as far as a little cottage near the beach here in Oz and an unassuming (but still quaint and gorgeous) villa in Tuscany... As far as "work after winning" I'd most likely start my own publishing house - now THAT would be fun!

Shelley said...

I don't buy lotto tickets, so I don't ponder this one. Come to think of it though, you mentioned blow and I'd definitely be up for that with a bit of cash...a blow wave twice a week that is! Yep, that would definitely make me feel like a millionaire. On the other hand, my ex father in law won second division twice in 20 years and all he ever did was complain that he missed out on the big one! Hope you're having a fabulous birthday. xx

bronnie said...

Awww ... You haven't won the lotto, but you are rich in other ways. Happy birthday bloggie bestie xo

Ms Styling You said...

My parents are about to go overseas. Again. For a month. Whenever they do so, they leave me in charge of putting on the family Lotto. The lotto syndicate I've been for so long we don't even have any 40-something numbers in the line up. We're not game to change the line up as surely that would be the time when those damn numbers came up.

Anyway, I'm always freaked out/excited by two things when given the responsibility of putting the Lotto on in their absence:

1. I will forget. Don't tell them, it happened last time. I work up next day, quickly checked on line, heart beating out through my chest. Phewww... 43! SAVED. Ran to newsagents in PJs.
2. That we'll actually win on my watch. That I won't phone them to tell them, I'll jump on a plane and surprise them in person.

Wish me luck. And happy birthday Bern x

A Daft Scots Lass said...

My FIL won the SA lottery a month ago. I wish it was me.

veggie mama said...

I wouldn't care what anybody thought of me if I suddenly "had money". and if i gave them anything they should be damn grateful whether it was a dollar or a hundred thousand.