There were words and phrases we used growing up that don’t really get a run these days. Well not enough. Ace, tops, rad, poxy, unreal, dead set, Skeg, Webber, spewing, bummed and, for those of you in Victoria, grouse - just to mention a few. The 8o’s weren’t big on making things complicated. We were too busy crimping our hair, sourcing some sweet leg warmers and being dazzled by Max Headroom.
Lately though, I’ve heard some words and phrases bandied about that make me feel like I’m 100 years old because I don’t know what they mean. I mean, when did I become uncool? When did these kids overtake me? I recently had the privilege of learning what an actual champagne Shower is. And it's not this:
Colour me informed. I unfortunately had to do this at work and am really hoping I don’t have to explain it to my boss. Hi Nadia *waves*. I’ve been learning acronyms against my will and equally, using them when space permits me no other option. LMFAO, LOL, IDK.
So, with that in mind, surely all I need is a little up skilling? A little further education in the 2011 way of speak? So here, thanks to the brilliance that is the internet, I have the following to share. I dare you to throw a few into conversations today:
BEEF WALK: Going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequence
COCKBLOCALYPSE: To go out to a bar and get cockblocked SO BADLY it is like the end of the world as you know it.
JFC: Acronym for Jesus Fucking Christ.
DIRTY PIRATE HOOKER: A fun and nice way of calling someone an extremely dirty whore. (Oh, there is a “fun” way to do this. Huh?)
GOOGLEHEIMERS: The condition where you think of something you want to Google but by the time you get to your computer or open the tab, you have forgotten what it was.
NOMONYM: When you eat something and it tastes like something else. Things often taste like chicken.
HANGRY: When you are so hungry that your lack of food causes you to become hungry, frustrated or both. We used to call this Fungry. (Fucking hungry – much better IMO) Oh, IMO means In my opinion.
TRAFFUCK: Peak hour traffic or any traffic that slows you down.
BOREGASM: The result of or act of reaching the apex or climax of boredom; Filling one’s capacity for boredom to the extreme boundary.
FO’ SHIZZLE MA NIZZLE: is a bastardisation of “fo’ sheezy mah neezy” which is a bastardisation of “for sure mah nigga” which is a bastardisation of “I concur with you whole heartedly my African American brother”.
JIGGA: Someone who has a way with the ladies i.e. a Gigolo.
WITAF: What in the Actual fuck? I just made that one up, but I’m going to get it happening.
Now here’s one from back in the day. One, admittedly I only learnt a couple of months ago thanks to my lovely workmate – Gusset Typing. Google it.
Please update me with any more. I'm all about learning if nothing else.