Monday, August 22, 2011


There were words and phrases we used growing up that don’t really get a run these days. Well not enough.  Ace, tops, rad, poxy, unreal, dead set, Skeg, Webber, spewing, bummed and, for those of you in Victoria, grouse - just to mention a few. The 8o’s weren’t big on making things complicated. We were too busy crimping our hair, sourcing some sweet leg warmers and being dazzled by Max Headroom. 

Lately though, I’ve heard some words and phrases bandied about that make me feel like I’m  100 years old because I don’t know what they mean. I mean, when did I become uncool? When did these kids overtake me? I recently had the privilege of learning what an actual champagne Shower is. And it's not this:

Colour me informed. I unfortunately had to do this at work and am really hoping I don’t have to explain it to my boss. Hi Nadia *waves*. I’ve been learning acronyms against my will and equally, using them when space permits me no other option. LMFAO, LOL, IDK.    

So, with that in mind, surely all I need is a little up skilling? A little further education in the 2011 way of speak? So here, thanks to the brilliance that is the internet, I have the following to share. I dare you to throw a few into conversations today:

BEEF WALK: Going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequence

COCKBLOCALYPSE: To go out to a bar and get cockblocked SO BADLY it is like the end of the world as you know it.

JFC: Acronym for Jesus Fucking Christ.  

DIRTY PIRATE HOOKER: A fun and nice way of calling someone an extremely dirty whore.  (Oh, there is a “fun” way to do this. Huh?)

GOOGLEHEIMERS: The condition where you think of something you want to Google but by the time you get to your computer or open the tab, you have forgotten what it was. 

NOMONYM: When you eat something and it tastes like something else.  Things often taste like chicken.

HANGRY: When you are so hungry that your lack of food causes you to become hungry, frustrated or both. We used to call this Fungry.  (Fucking hungry – much better IMO) Oh, IMO means In my opinion.

TRAFFUCK: Peak hour traffic or any traffic that slows you down.

BOREGASM: The result of or act of reaching the apex or climax of boredom; Filling one’s capacity for boredom to the extreme boundary.

FO’ SHIZZLE MA NIZZLE:  is a bastardisation of “fo’ sheezy mah neezy” which is a bastardisation of “for sure mah nigga” which is a bastardisation of “I concur with you whole heartedly my African American brother”.

JIGGA:  Someone who has a way with the ladies i.e. a Gigolo. 

WITAF: What in the Actual fuck?  I just made that one up, but I’m going to get it happening.

Now here’s one from back in the day. One, admittedly I only learnt a couple of months ago thanks to my lovely workmate – Gusset Typing. Google it. 

Please update me with any more. I'm all about learning if nothing else.


Ms Styling You said...

I had forgotten skeggs. And what about when sex was porking?
Now, I just try to embarrass my teenagers by "shuffling" around the house saying that is RIDIC, as in ridiculous. Guaranteed an eye roll. Totes.

The Mummy Hat said...

'Panda' it's the means the c word without saying the c word and being belted by your better half.

Kylie L said...

Champgane showers and gusset typing. Unreal. Now I have to clear my browser history so my kids don't see what mummy has been looking up!

Becci Bird said...

What about suckface? As in pashing, as in making out, as in canoodling ... ok I'm getting more ancient by the word! JFC!

Jodie Ansted said...

I'm totally using WITAF from now on.

Fun-ny, Bern! I just LMAO.


cjtato said...

I'm bringing 'tops' back though. Started using it recently and have decided it should make a comeback. I mean the 80s is here and now so why not I say!

I'm too scared to google champagne showers and gusset typing. LOL

Mum on the Run said...

Off to GMAO - Google my arse off.

Teni said...

“I concur with you wholeheartedly my African American brother”

Oh geez that made me ROTFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

cjtato - that sounds tops!

I love Googleheimers, but only because I have it!

I had to have DILLIGAF explained to me, dur!


Melody said...

Also in Victoria in the 80's we used to say the word 'scum' and 'scum-bunger' - both meaning awesome. My sister and I still use to this day (to each other only), the word 'bogging' as in - giving you the shits.

WITAF - love it.

Cheryl said...

OMG, totally LMFAO!

FYI in the '80's in Northern Ireland we used to say 'Beezer' meaning 'really cool' or 'rare' which meant 'not cool/sad' (some debate over whether rare meant sad or cool) 'bogging' was also used but meant 'disgusting'

Great post


Belle Samson said...

ok for those of you who are too scared to google 'gusset typing' I will explain. Basically it's the female version of wanking. Tapping away on the gusset of your panties for pleasure.

Oh how I love educating Berna at work.

In my day 'Champagne Showers' was known as 'Bukake'. Now don't go and google that one unless you can delete your browsing history straight away.

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

I want to google them but I'm scared....


Jodi @ The Scribble Den said...

Our '80's terms were sooo much more excellent.

Zoey @ Good Goog said...

I feel so freaking old right now.

Smudgeblurr said...

I loved this post Bern! I had to google gusset typing and cracked up when i found out!! You always crack me up!

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