They say getting married and moving are two of the most stressful events you will face in your lifetime.
Let's just say that that I’d dance the funky chicken at my 19th wedding rather than move house one more time. Because this time, we aren’t just moving house, which for some insane reason, we seem to do about every 4 years, we are moving State. Lots of states. We are moving to Victoria.
Have you ever talked so much about something that it actually turned into reality? I mean, like something so massive, so life changing, it will not only interrupt your own life but all of those around you as well? It seems that I may have done this.
A few months ago my husband I sat down and realised we were getting nowhere. Building and construction here on the Gold Coast has basically stalled. People are sitting on their hands waiting for something to happen. In turn, Phil hasn’t worked a solid week since Christmas 2010. I’m pretty sure this is the story being told by any tradie on the Gold Coast right now. Confidence is thin on the ground, the Real Estate Bubble burst a while back and people are scrambling to sell at much less than they did two years ago. We could see it coming, but we’ve rode this out here a few times before.
The last time was in 2001 and we only had one child at the time. Phil moved to Sydney where he was offered a great job. I stayed behind and it was relatively easy. Well for me. Although to be honest, we were kind of running two households, flying to and fro and what not. And although I was fine working, running Mad to day care and looking after ourselves, Phil didn’t fare quite as well. What should be every man’s dream was his nightmare. I mean, nights to oneself, pub dinners, beers with mates and complete control of the remote control sent him nuts. So he came home.
So this time around we were realistic. The mines were an option, but that involved FIFO and weeks away from the family. No go. So we started to investigate. Before we knew it, Phil was offered a job. In Melbourne. Whoa.
So, in just over a week, I alone, will set off in my little car and drive away from the only place I’ve ever known. Away from my brother and two of my best friends in the world, my wonderful boss, all of our lovely neighbours and other friends and family and drive in a semi- straight line to Melbourne. In the mean time, I have, oh, one thousand, four hundred and fifty nine things to organise and very little time to do so. But winging it has always kind of been my MO, so I’m hoping it works for me this time.
As we sat out on our deck, in our modest little seaside home this afternoon and had a beer, I wondered out loud if we were doing the right thing. The logistics are huge. Phil looked at me and simply said ‘Mate, if it’s not right, we can always come back, what have we got to lose?’ Oh, just my sanity, but apart from that, nothing.
Have you ever made a massive move?



36 comments:
It's big and scary, but it sounds like the right thing. We did the ultimate big move 18 months ago, coming from Scotland all the way here. It took 6 months planning, but has been worth every second. You'll be fine. :)
You've got a beautiful man, a great relationship & a gorgeous family :) Everything else will fall into place...xxx
Good on you!
Your 'get up and go' is fantastic.
Literally.
Wishing you the very best (of luck and pharmaceuticals) in the next coupla crazy weeks.
:-)
As long as you have Phil & He has you.... Wherever the hell you are... You are together. Life. Takes You By Surprise. This one kind of happened but in a good way. Glad for you. It will seem strange... But it will be ok.
And now you get to holiday on GC!!!! Good on you Bern.
My mum & dad did a move out their home town of Wollongong to Sydney when I was 10 & my bro 7. It was hard but once we started at the new school suddenly mum & dad had a pile of new friends through us kids & our school.
Pretty good timing for you with the kids & schooling too.
Love D.
Ahhh Bern. I have been thinking of you such a lot. Even wrote a both about staying in one place versus moving yesterday.
I have made big moves, as you know.
It's exciting.
I wish for you and Phil and the kids a very happy adventure.
xxx
Bernadette I know this feeling. Earlier this year we were THIS close to moving to the USA - so think visa's for the girls and I, international move!! I spent a lot of time wondering if it would be the right thing. And when we decided not to go, you know what happens now right???.............we spend a lot of time wondering if we have done the right thing. Nothing is forever, you haven't committed to going for life, Phil is right, you can come back.
I moved here for 6 weeks - 20 yrs ago from NZ, and Kerry moved here from America 7 yrs ago, it is stressful but very do-able with a sense of humour.
All the best Bern, I will be following you here.
We made the big move 20 months ago but our move was from Tassie to the Gold Coast because my husbands work wasnt stable..he was offered a position too good to refuse so here we are..Ive only been homesick twice and the town I left behind is where Id lived most of life..my parents lived around the corner..all my friends and childrens friends were close by..life was good but at the end of the day money kinda helps ;-) We have absolutely no regrets and I can honestly say we're the happiest we've ever been! I wish you all the best xx
That's awesome, Bern! So excited for you and wishing you all the best.
We did the interstate move to Sydney just over 18 months ago. Big adjustment but I wouldn't undo a single second of it!
It could be worse. You could move to Melbourne on your own, leave your children behind, scrap around for work and couch surf for the first six months, all because you know that it will be a fantastic improvement on a stagnant life - eventually.
Faith in yourself is all you need. Faith and a strong drink every now and then.
Huge Bern. Sunshine Coast is much the same. So many of my friends' husbands taking mining jobs and doing the fly in thing.
My husband commutes to Brisbane and we'll be making that move in 2 years time when teens are at Uni. Will be huge after a lifetime on the coast.
Thinking of you x
You're moving to Melbourne! Yay! Melbourne is the best, you'll love it here, and the kids will too. The weather is gorgeous (well it is right now this very minute, can't guarantee that for longer than the next 25 minutes), city is beautiful and there's a reason it's a City of Literature. Welcome!
Phil is a bloody legend, lets just be upfront about that.
My advice is not to do too much "comparing" the new place to what you miss back home. Just embrace everything as part of the life change. Enjoy the differences, adapt to what this great city has to offer and remember the reason you moved in the first place and it will all fall in place. Welcome to Melbs, you're gonna love it, and I think it will love you too!
Hi Bern, You'll be fine! We moved to Melbourne almost 3 years ago after moving back and forth across the globe five times in the past decade. There are still day when we wish we were somewhere else...but those days are mainly in winter and we have learned to seek the sun for a few weeks in June or July.
Sure, there are days when my heart literally hurts missing family and my besties, but they are really just a call away and when we do see them it is just the fun catch ups. And they are all dispersed now too, no longer all in our little inner-city area where we spent our 20s.
I had this revelation a few years ago though, we were living in a place that was really close to the north pole and I was suffering a bit of SAD. I remember walking to work thinking 'why do people live in a [insert swearing here] place like this?'. I got to work and my boss told me about his son and the plans for an upcoming family celebration....it occurred to me then, that it doesn't really matter where you live if you have 'your people- your family' with you.
You and your people will settle in, make friends, laugh lots and live well in Melbourne. I can guarantee it!
Good luck,
@supersalstar
p.s might just get to meet you in these parts too. That'd be fun!
It will be great! Is always a good idea to shake things up occasionally. Change begets change. I see only plusses here - apart from the actual move that is...
Hey Bern, I absolutely love your blog and read it religiously but don't comment however I couldn’t help myself with this one. I live in and love Melbourne and am sure you will too. It is a beautiful city with beautiful people who I hope will make you and your little family feel very welcome. Don’t know if you already have a place to stay but I would suggest finding somewhere from Black Rock, Beaumaris, Mentone, Sandringham, Hampton, Cheltenham, Park Dale through to Frankston. These suburbs are close to our bay beaches and hopefully will help with the transition. My last piece of advice is this; as soon as you accept Melbourne is cold in winter and work with it, you will love it here. Good luck with your move. Helen.
Bern, you *have* been talking about this for as long as I've known you...which seems like years, but is a bit less!
You put your dream out into the Universe and it came to fruition. Go forth, or south and be successful and happy. I know you will. You have friends there, so you won't feel alone.
I, however, will miss our Byron catch ups.
Stop overnight in Sydney on your way through...please.
N x
Well, I'm excited for you. It's an adventure for you. Yes - you will miss everyone. You will. But this is your time as a family.
Hubby and I relocated to Perth almost 16 years ago. We told my parents we'd be going, 'for a couple of years. Three at the most.' Ha.
It was great for us personally and professionally. We made friends together. We spent time playing tourists for the first year or so. I didn't get homesick for a good 8 months - I was too busy!
I love it in Sydney. I do miss my family very much, but I do love being here.
AND...you have an advantage. You have us! We're your company, and I'm sure you'll already know some Melbournites. Cool!
Hope you don't get too stressed with the move. Good luck. We'll see you at the other end!
I've lived within a 10km radius in Melb's inner SE my whole life. But whenever I say it would be a lovely idea to try elsewhere, I keep getting told I couldn't pick a much better place anyway!
So no, never been as brave as you and I don't envy the preparations at all. I'll be here if/when you need me. xx
You will ace it Bern, I am in no doubt. Be proud that you are doing what's best for your family and that you are not a gunna. (I'm gunna do this, we're gunna do that, and they never do)
And just think, you'll be that much closer to MEEEEEEEEEEE.
"It's character building" as they say.... I've lived in London and now in Hong Kong so have been FAR away from family and friends for a good 7 years now. The thing is, it's an experience you have that once you have it, you'd never trade (if that makes sense). You'll meet new people, visit new places, eat at new restaurants. It'll be a whole new world. It's bloody scary and it sucks at times but when it comes down to the crunch - it's all worth it. Hope it all goes well! x
I am sentimental, and I like to feel secure, so when I think about packing up my house and moving to the other side of the world in 8 months, I imagine the house empty and me standing at the front door for the last time and I feel a bit nauseous. But I know from having done it before that once you push through and settle in on the other side, a whole new world of experience and opportunity opens up. It's good to have mixed feelings because it means you are leaving behind a life that you treasure, but it's also good to be brave and push your comfort zone out a bit because you will create a new life that you will come to treasure and you will cherish the adventure. As Phil says, worst that can happen, you come back with no regrets about what might have been. But I'm betting that it's a hell of a lot better that that. ;-)
Moving, moving, moving - so exciting and so overwhelming and scary. Done it a few times. One thing never changes - your wide circle of family and friends for (a small time) diminishes and you have to rely so much more on your friendship and relationship with your immediate family - in this case your husband. My sister-in-law and I have the discussion is it harder to move interstate or overseas. I have never moved interstate and she has never moved overseas - so we'll get back to you when we've solved that one. If Melbourne doesn't work out - we'd love to have you over here in South Africa ;)
I think your hub nailed it when he said You can always go back if it doesn't work out.
We have had two households for over a year - kind of our main one in Sydney and another in our Dubbo where we are moving for a tree change.after we get back from WA we will stay in Dubbo permanently...well that is the plan .
Moving states would be diabolical though for the extra things you need to do.
I have never made a big move like that because I am a super stress head who gets anxious moving my office desk. However, my parents moved us all from Melb to Syd when I was young and, whilst it was challenging, they have never looked back. You will do GREAT in Melb. And the coffee is ace, so really it's a win win for all. Good luck hon xxx
And on the plus side, you already know some people in Melbourne and you might even find your jacket ;-)
It will be great, just add a little black to your wardrobe a little more brood to your personality and you'll fit right in.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
I moved my wife and 2 young boys (3 and 4) from Sydney to the Gold Coast 16 years ago. No job, just a few contacts.
3 Years ago i left my one and only GC job to front up a New Zealand company here in Australia 6 weeks before a Global Financial Crisis.
Still going strong and wouldnt do anything different.
Hey Bern,
This will sound selfish but as long as you keep blogging you could live anywhere in the world! On the positive side this negates your need to enroll Maddy in a local school for next year - ha ha! I am sure the kids will love Mel and you can always come and visit us on the Sunny Coast if you need some sunshine in Winter!
Take care and best of luck with the actual move.
Wx
You are so brave, braver than I could ever imagine I could be. I wish you a safe trip, luck along your journey and good fortune for just doing it. Good for you. Cheers SpecialK
You have been with me for 10 or so years. We have rode it our through thick and thin, through crazy clients and staff. You are a part of my life that I will miss immensely, and it will never be the same without you. Being selfish I don;t want you to go,but understand why you have to. I love you Bernna. Good luck and stay safe. And Phil's right. If it doesn't work, you come back - what do you have to lose? Nadia (Boss radie)
Big moves are exciting and scary. And this is really moving out of your comfort zone. My experience has always been that the decision making is worse than the doing. But I'm sure you'll be fine. The kids will adjust, even if they are considerably colder in the winter.
Good luck to you all & hope the packing etc isn't too awful.
Oh & I forgot to say I moved back from London after living there for 11 years, leaving behind my children's father. A massive move emotionally & geographically. That was 15 yrs ago & I've never regretted it & neither have my children.
Oh hon.... I have moved to live in Edinburgh and Montreal and Broome, and ecah time it is terrifying.. and ecah time it has brought me closer to my lovely husband and wonderful kids and widened my world view that bit more. You will be ace. And as Cate said, you're not just talking about it- you're doing it. You're not going to die wondering. Respect! Here's to a life less ordinary... with the added bonus of I will only be a few suburbs away! xxxxxxxxx
Embrace the move. Embrace the stress and the anxiety and the last minute wonderings. Embrace the adventure. You have each other. He's right that man of yours - you have nothing to lose. Good luck xx
Sure did. We had those conversations for a few years, and I'm pretty sure friends had money on us never actually doing it. Then Hubby got offered a job in Melbourne and with in 2 weeks he was gone. We followed a few months later.
Hard, you bet. Worth it. Absolutely. You know (roughly) where I am, I know (roughly) where some drinking spots are.
And as my uncle likes to say you never never know if you never never go.
Welcome to Melbourne. xxx
I hate moving, but in a sick way I love it too. Especially a big move like you're doing. It can be really revitalising, especially as you're doing it for all the right reasons - for your family. You and Phil are solid, and your kids are young enough that they can immerse themselves in the new opportunities that Melbourne offers. And with your writing career taking off, you'll be perfectly placed to make the most of that. Good luck to all of you. And see you in Melbourne!
I just survived two house moves in the last 12 months. Luckily I only moved a few streets away. All previous moves were within Melbourne.
My biggest move was emigrating from Poland to Australia. I was only 13 at the time, and while it was very exciting, I know my mum went through hell and back to organise it all on her own. And adjusting to life in a new culture was pretty tough on all of us, too.
Good luck, Bern. I look forward to seeing you more often now. There are some awesome bloggy peeps here. You'll be welcomed with open arms...
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