Wednesday, December 21, 2011


I do wonder what my children missed out on.  You know, not being pushed around in a pram that cost more than my first car. I mean, seriously, is the latest in parenting pissing contests or was this always going on and I just didn't realise? 

This pram, the one above, is $1599.99. I mean, thank Christ! Imagine if it was $1600.00. Wait.

And the one I saw today in the shop was the last one – floor stock. One that has no doubt been test-driven around the shop a thousand times, rammed into stationary mannequins and probably, more than likely, had a toddler’s filthy fingers smearing it's (now invisible due to petrifaction) snot into the undercarriage. 

My question to you though is, do you get more from say, the two thousand dollar pram, than the ones I always seem to purchae that were around the Two hundred dollar mark? Did I roughly receive 10% of the product as a result? I have to know, does this hideously expensive contraption

- Wake up in the middle of the night, flop out a mechanical breast and feed the baby?

- Automatically steer into bunched up teenagers who look suspiciously like they are up to no good?

- Deal with the annoying, yet well meaning advice from every person who has EVER had a baby before you?

- Cure cracked nipples?

- Awkwardly launch itself at people who walk 4 abreast in shopping centres.

- Through direct mind power, Grind 100% pure Arabica beans and produce a world class flat white into your cup holder

- Magically fold and unfold with a remote control?

- Hover into the back of the car and ALWAYS fit. Even if you own a smart car.

- Keep the child endlessly entertained while imprisoned inside it. The details of how are not important, as long as they don’t whinge.

If the Pram could perform even one of the tasks above, I’d buy it. Unnecessary debt be damned. But something tells me the people buying these aren’t exactly worried about cash. Ultimately though, from where I stand, basically a pram gets vomited in, shat on a thousand different ways to Sunday and ends up as a feral vessel of unidentifiable smells. And it would break my heart to know I could have put that money towards something useful. Like their therapy when they realise the root of all their problems stem from the fact that they were pushed around in the pram equivalent of a Hyundai Excel and not an Audi.

But each to their own. I’m probably just jealous. Oh and probably won’t be asked to do a sponsored post on expensivo prams anytime soon either. Foot, meet your gun wielder. 

So how about you? Are there features I just don’t understand? Are they just a modern status symbol?  


A Beer for the Shower said...

My guess is the extra money is going toward paying fair wages to the Korean sweatshop workers who toiled over the toxic plastic molds to construct the thing. Sounds plausible, right?

Cat said...

If it did any one of those things I'd buy one for every expectant Mama's baby shower gift. I have never understood why those prams are "worth" so much money. I like one that is designed to sit up higher to give the baby a better "view" and frankly would stop my back from killing every time I pass a snack (I think it's a Stokke one) but seriously gagged when I saw the price so will "make do" with the cheap one we have. This is such a Western middle-class thing to be seen with the "right" pram & frankly it makes me feel a little nauseous.

Aneets said...

I cannot imagine spending that much on a pram. The again I have let my kids trash ours so it would be sad to see something so expensive get ruined due to bits of vegemite sandwich getting smeared all over it.

I have seen lots of them around the traps though.

Miss Pink said...

That's ridiculous!
I think $500 is excessive for a pram!
It's a cute pram though. I like that vintagey style, but I would NOT pay that much. No fucking way!

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Status anxiety. It begins at birth!

Anonymous said...

When I see someone with a bugaboo, I groan (silently) and just think they are someone that hasn't researched what they need and they need to buy the most expensive pram to look good.

I had a frenemy who kept going on about the bugaboo how it was the best but when we were out she couldn't steer it, it fell over and I found out the grandparents bought it (she wanted everyone to think she was doing well). Then, she copied my pram after bagging me out so much.

I do think they are pretty and love the colours, but would not buy one if they were functionally what I wanted personally.

So many people want a competition.

Permanently twenty three said...

The Stokke is $2,000. It's worse. I always inwardly chuckle when I see one and think 'Wow. Wasn't THAT worth it?'. It's also surprisingly fug.

Yep. Prams are a pissing contest. You said it.

Carol said...

In 2004 I bought my Stokke Xplory. It was $1400. I bought it for lots of reasons - ergonomics, steerability, lightweight, clever design, it fit a capsule which meant I could keep babies in capsule from car to pram... the list really does go on. And I could afford it. None of the reasons had anything to do with ego.

It was worth the money. I used it for two kids. I sold it in 2010 for $800. I would save my money and buy one again but as I never intend having a baby I will instead spend the money on cocktails.

What amazed me was the reactions it would provoke - from outright hostility, deriding snide comments about our financial position, awkward covetous moments with strangers, quizzical looks because I didn't fit the "yummy mummy" look at 95 kilos and never wore makeup... I got it all.

I wasn't in a pissing contest but I sure got pissed on. My husband suggested I get a card made - "Fuck Off, it's just a pram. It works for us".

Diminishing Lucy said...

Like cars, prams depreciate they are driven. Status be dammed: like cars, buy the cheapest you can! And that credit card you're touting, lady? Best use it for conveniece,never takes longer to pay off a credit card bill than the time you're child will stay on a pram...


Thea said...

Ha! Yep, so ridiculous!!
I happened to love my $200 (if it was even that much, can't remember) blue checked Target pram. And so did both of my kids. I just thank God we don't need a pram anymore. We gave it away last week!! :D

Penny said...

My husband and I freaked out the first time we looked at prams - literally ran out of the shop. We ended up buying a $178 one that got us through 2 kids and I don't have any qualms about chucking in the bin shortly - and because it's now worth oooooh about $2 I dont have to waste my time selling it on Ebay!

Helen said...

My SiL bought one of these, traded up several times and spent over $6,000 on six prams in three years.

The secret is that this is what mums are spending their baby bonus cash on. I have three children, and when my eldest was born you had to order these things in as so few could afford them.

My next two were born in Auckland, and the same prams were cheaper as they had no baby bonus. So much cheaper friends would get me to buy them and post them over.

Madam Bipolar said...

I worked at CHOICE so I knew my $200 pram was better than the $1000 plus Bugaboo. Smug me.

River said...

My first pram (1973) was a $99 converts-to-pusher model that comfortably transported three kids up to 1978, (when the youngest was then aged two and refused to ride in it saying she wasn't a baby), plus baby supplies and a few groceries. Chrome and vinyl, with a removable mattress, it was so very washable!
I eventually gave it to a pregnant friend, thinking that I'd never need a pram again, then four years later (1981), along came baby #4 and I found the exact same model in a different colour in a secondhand shop for $30!
There were fancier models around, definitely more expensive models, but all I needed was easily folded, washable and sturdy. The babies certainly didn't care!
I really don't see the point in paying so much money for something needed for such a short time, especially if you can't easily scrub it down and dry it off.

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

And the funny thing is that once the baby is sitting upright, the audi will be traded in for the most lightweight stroller to be found (at Kmart) because those huge prams are just way too cumbersome to expand and collapse and lift into the boot of the car, the 1,000,001 times it is required of a mum to do so.

April said...

I am going to go against the grain and say that I own that pram, and it was worth every cent I paid for it. Granted I brought mine secondhand for half the price, but it was still worth it.

We were limited by what would fit in our car. I own a small car, and space is of the premium. I needed a pram with a small wheelbase, something the cheaper versions didn't have. I also wanted something that was easy to steer, could take going over rough terrain (ruling our a stroller) and wasn't offensive to my eyes. I researched a lot of prams, made a list of what was important to me, and then looked for that in a cheaper form (ebay).

Sure some people want them as a status symbol, but not everyone does. Its a freaking pram.

MaidInAustralia said...

I would never have bought a really expensive one. But my ex arrived home one day when I was about 8 weeks pregnant, with a horrible clunky heavy pram that he got from a second hand shop for an exhorbitant price. It was just like one some friends of his owned. I could not believe he would buy such an important purchase on his own, with no imput from me. But I bit back my protest and accepted nicely.
And so went the rest of our relationship.
I hated that freaking heavy, big, wide pram. Hated it.
I didn't need an expensive one. We could have bought a new little light one for the same price from K-mart.
I don't care about expensive things, I just wanted to have a say in something that I would be using most of all. And having to collapse and uncollapse. And push around.
And no, I would never spend that much on a freaking pram. Maybe on a car.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

My nanna bought me my pram when my daughter was born.

It cost 1600.

She practically lived in it, it was that comfortable. And so did my other two kids and it is still going strong 20 years later.

Boo was in it until he was FOUR. I am pretty sure we got value out of it. It was BEYOND awesome. I wish I could have slept in that pram.

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

Onto kid number 5 shortly.

I wanted to buy a turquoise strider with the toddler seat below it but I don't think I can be bothered.

Our $99 3 wheeler baby / toddler seat combo has been fine for the last two and it will do for this one I guess.

I hate spending money on baby crapola when I can spend it on shoes. :)

Girly Mama said...

Like April I too have used and loved the Bugaboo. The 'Prambagini' a friend called it but for me having had twins first time around (so not such a great choice in prams as parents with one child) the luxury of choosing the Bugaboo for our third daughter was lovely. Miss C practically lived in it from birth (the bassinet feature for newborns is great) through to around age 4 including a stint when we travelled around America in winter when she was around 18 months old - gosh how she loved to snuggle up in it. The pram has now been passed on to her Godmother who is using it for her first daughter and looks almost as nice as the day it came home. I have never quite understood why people got in a tizz over which pram I chose and quite frankly since I don't sit in judgment about which car, house, pram or whatever else someone buys I can't see why anyone would feel the need to get so hot under the collar about it. Don't knock it 'til you have tried it people (regardless of what Choice magazine or anyone else says!