Okay, I am a born and bred Queenslander and I have this to say: Bob Katter. What a mad bastard.
Sure, this is stating the obvious, but out there, are people who agree with him. And agree that same sex marriage is wrong. And should never be allowed. And now, Mr Katter, through his tv advertising campaign, has made it abundantly clear that his party, the “Australia Party” is against any person of the same sex, marrying.
Here’s what I want to hear. I want to hear from someone opposed to Same Sex marriage, why you care. I want you to tell me why, if Beryl and Betty from number 102 decide they want to write some hideously corny vows, drop a truckload of cash on an overpriced function room and dance the funky chicken, what you think will ACTUALLY happen? Rapture? Armageddon? End of the world as we know it?
More importantly, I want to know how you think this will actually impact your day to day life. Like how, when grabbing your daily coffee from your local coffee shop, if Gary and Dave from work hire a a stretch Hummer, invite 135 of their closest friends and family and declare their undying love for each other in front of a marriage celebrant and then set off some fuck-off fireworks to round out their night, how your daily coffee would taste any different.
So I Googled. Unrelated: I wish I had had Google in Year 12. I would have blitzed that shit.
Behold: Per searches through the Internet I present you: The top 7 reasons why people who are the same sex, should NOT get married. You will note the responses in red are SARCASTIC. And until they devise a suitable sarcasm font, I will provide you this in red.
01) Being gay is not natural. Because real Australians always reject unnatural things like spectacles, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. Just in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalising gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. I bet People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour marriage would be destroyed.
05) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
06) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
07) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
You know, I watched ‘The Help’ the other night and although this was highly Hollywoodised (shutup, that is totally a word), it had quite the message. Being that once upon a time, it was acceptable to ostracise black people and treat them as less. I’m not sure how or why exactly it became ‘not okay’ to do this. I guess it was just a slow burning menace that eventually erupted.
What I do know is that just like I was quite disgusted in the way we have treated situations in our past (the stolen generation as an example), our children, my children and theirs, will be appalled and baffled why same sex marriage was even an issue. Equally baffling, why Kyle Sandliands was constantly rewarded for being such a complete dickhead.
I think perhaps it starts with us. Telling our children it is perfectly natural to be attracted to and love who they love, regardless of their sex. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about being happy, and we are happiest when we can be with the ones with love. Pretty Simple really.
So shut the fuck up Bob Katter. You ignorant arsehole.