Monday, April 9, 2012

DROPPING THE BALL










Two of my children still believe in Santa, however after Saturday night, I’m pretty sure at least one of them is now fairly suss on the Easter Bunny. 


See we decided, in our wisdom, to go out on Easter Eve. Fact: Dinner + wine + show + wine x late night = a less than adequate Easter Bunny impersonation. That formula can also lead to irreversibly damaging your twelve year old daughter, who, although old enough to know that the whole Easter Bunny thing is a giant sham, is not entirely prepared to witness her less than sober parents trying to perfect an Easter Bunny sized bite from a questionable carrot.


We’ve got years to save for the therapy. I digress.


So, after successfully making it appear that a Bunny had gone on some kind of rampage through our kitchen, we continued on with the actual Easter Egg Drop. I guess every parent has their own way of doing this, but we’ve always placed the eggs at the end of the kid’s bed. This way, when they wake up in the morning, they think that the Easter Bunny was RIGHT, FREAKING THERE! Looking over them. Actually, thinking about it, that’s kinda creepy. 


ANYWAY


Phil walked in first, arms loaded and as it turns out, a little unsteady. See, one of Jack’s eggs was a giant football and I can confirm that when one of these is accidently dropped on the floor in the dead of night, it makes a loud noise. Loud enough to wake up a 5 year old. The situation went a little something like this - Or a little exactly like this:


Phil drops egg, thump, we both freeze mid egg drop like we are playing an epic game of statues and the five year old looks directly at his father and smiles. Oh shit, it’s all over. No, wait, he lies back down and appears to go back to sleep.  We both look at each other, silently place the remainder  of the eggs around and then go to bed and pass out.


6 hours later, we are woken by two very excited boys invading our bed. This was too early of course to determine the level of our hangover, i.e was it mild and able to be fixed by two panadol and a Bacon and Egg McMuffin, or more serious and in need of 7 more hours sleep and a long stint sitting on the shower floor.


That’s the thing about kids though, they are fairly indifferent to your self-inflicted suffering.  And rightly so.


After showing off  his haul, Jack looked at his father and said "I saw you in our room last night"  Phil and I made eye contact and simultaneously started to try and explain the situation with horrible and clearly ill prepared lies.


“Well, the Easter Bunny was running a bit late, so he got me to bring the eggs up to your room”  Sam looked sceptical, yet fairly disinterested.   Jack, with an amazed look, “So you SPOKE to the Easter Bunny?” I piped up with a “Oh sure, we both did, but he had a tonne of eggs to deliver and he was already running behind schedule.” Sam still looked on, saying nothing. Jack just kept looking at us, wide eyed and asked us what we talked about. For some reason, we both continued to further dig ourselves into a complicated and quite frankly, unnecessary hole by spinning a story about broken down cars and having to wait for the RACV.

As we both continued to make up the completely unbelievable tale, Sam got up off the bed, walked over to the door, turned to us slowly and said “Sounds to me like the Easter bunny had one too many beers.” And with that, he sauntered  downstairs to check out the carrot situation.


I’m still not sure if he’s on to us.


Yes. They do own shirts.


How did you find out the truth about the Easter Bunny? Please don't tell me it was through this blog post. 

13 comments:

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle said...

Oh Bern, I love you. We moved Easter Sunday to Easter Saturday because it didn't fit with the fact that Easter Sunday is a SCHOOL DAY here AND we were flying back to Doha on Saturday night. G and I did the same thing, left the eggs until the last minute, scrambled (pardon the pun) around in an unfamiliar house dropping little eggs everywhere and had all the wrong things for all the wrong people "Caramel?? Why would Easter Bunny give me caramel?? He knows the orthodontist said I can't have CARAMEL?"

Thanks for the giggle. LOVED it.

Kirstyx

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle said...

Oh Bern, I love you. We moved Easter Sunday to Easter Saturday because it didn't fit with the fact that Easter Sunday is a SCHOOL DAY here AND we were flying back to Doha on Saturday night. G and I did the same thing, left the eggs until the last minute, scrambled (pardon the pun) around in an unfamiliar house dropping little eggs everywhere and had all the wrong things for all the wrong people "Caramel?? Why would Easter Bunny give me caramel?? He knows the orthodontist said I can't have CARAMEL?"

Thanks for the giggle. LOVED it.

Kirstyx

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle said...

Oh Bern, I love you. We moved Easter Sunday to Easter Saturday because it didn't fit with the fact that Easter Sunday is a SCHOOL DAY here AND we were flying back to Doha on Saturday night. G and I did the same thing, left the eggs until the last minute, scrambled (pardon the pun) around in an unfamiliar house dropping little eggs everywhere and had all the wrong things for all the wrong people "Caramel?? Why would Easter Bunny give me caramel?? He knows the orthodontist said I can't have CARAMEL?"

Thanks for the giggle. LOVED it.

Kirstyx

Diminishing Lucy said...

LOVE him!

Olivia (8) plucked up courage to ask me if the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth fairy were real.

I told her "OF COURSE they are real, babe..."

She did a similar saunter away with a "So why do you have an alarm in your phone that says "Tooth Fairy duty" and why do you hide all the Easter Eggs in the bottom of your wardrobe?"

I suspect I am busted.

But she will pretend, with good grace, for Charlie and Lexie's sake.

(Although Charlie will "believe" for ever - he is a mercenary little bugger - as long as he gets the hoard of pressies/chocolate/cash, he believes...)

xx

Cheryl said...

I found out about the tooth fairy in a similar way. My mother, after a few drinks, tripped over in my room in the middle of the night. She was such a bad liar too lol.

MaidInAustralia said...

The EB had too many beers ... love it! Mine are onto me too I think, but choose to believe because they want the chocolate. Take after their Mum ...

Melody said...

Oh that's an awesome story!! Sam, he's onto you. lol

I have no idea when I realised that EB wasn't real but I do know that when I did find out my mum decided that a block of Payless brand chocolate would do instead of expensive Cadbury Eggs!! Urgh!!

Twitchy said...

Sam is fantastic and I bet he'd be understanding if the EB also has a hangover.

In my case, I had to sidetrack the EB from our house. Poor Miss5 came home with a school-made bonnet and basket, ready for the visit. "I'm sorry baby, but just like Santa, the EB doesn't come to Jewish homes. We have Passover instead."

Now why isn't there a kid-friendly character for this? I'd LOVE to say: "Oh look kids, the Pesach Lambie has brought us all maccaroons!!"

Vacation Rental Home said...

Sometimes thing don't work out the way we plan them to but you had fun and a memory to laugh about so what's there not to like?

Naomi said...

This is exactly how my kids found out about Easter Bunny. Apparently me attempting to sit on the end of a child's bed, all cool and calm like, saying I was just checking if Easter Bunny had been, while tanked and swaying didn't cut it.

Maria Tedeschi (Mum's Word) said...

I wasn't even going to do eggs for our kids (considering they get so many from other people) until my 6yo on Saturday night put a carrot on the dining table declaring that no-one eat it as it is for the EB. Mad dash to Woolies for me to buy the dregs.

I didn't have EB as a kid. Raised Greek Orthodox our Easter rarely fell at the same time. We got coloured boiled eggs instead.

Love & stuff
Mrs M

emaan asad said...

Nice work done... You have shared very good information..
BOTOX Cosmetic works by stopping muscle contraction, which then relaxes the overlying skin to improve the skin wrinkling. To know more about BOTOX Cosmetic visit
Botox Mobile

assignments web said...

Nice blog to reading thanks for sharing such useful information this is very helpful for students who learn online and want Mathematics Assignment .And keep continue to sharing useful information for us.